Some people think that all university should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future such as those related to science and technology

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Numerous
subjects
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can be learnt in universities so that the
students
Use synonyms
can choose particular
subjects
Use synonyms
depending on their preferences,
while
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others think that
science
Use synonyms
and
technology
Use synonyms
fields will guarantee their futures more. In my opinion, I believe allowing
students
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to opt for their studies can make them more
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
in positive ways rather than impose themselves
to
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on
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subjects
Use synonyms
that they are not interested in. university
students
Use synonyms
want to pursue their passions
in particular
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subjects
Use synonyms
, which can make them perform better and
satisfied
Add a missing verb
be satisfied
show examples
with their decisions. They will choose studies that are relevant and
favored
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favoured
show examples
the most as long as they can fully release their
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
rather than force themselves to learn about things that they are not attracted to.
For instance
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, an artist who can freely express himself would enjoy it to the fullest and can view many opportunities for him by exploring things that he likes.
Thus
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, the more passionate and delightful he is, the more
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
he
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be.
On the other hand
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, It is obvious that
Use synonyms
science
Correct article usage
the science
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and
technology
Use synonyms
fields would offer more stable career
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. More companies would require many workers who excel in those
subjects
Use synonyms
as
technology
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and
science
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fields,
such
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as health sectors, have been thriving extensively.
For instance
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, one hospital can
employee
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employ
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many people who particularly focus on
science
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, including
secientist
Correct your spelling
scientist
scientists
,
doctor
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doctors
show examples
,
nurse
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nurses
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,
pharmacist
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pharmacists
show examples
, and more.
Hence
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, if they tend to choose those
subjects
Use synonyms
, they would be benefited by having a wide variety
od
Correct your spelling
of
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jobs. To summarize, letting
students
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to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
follow their passions will increase their happiness and they show their abilities thoroughly by doing what they enjoy, would be more important and
matter
Correct subject-verb agreement
matters
show examples
the most,
although
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learning
science
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and
technology
Use synonyms
would provide them with more opportunities to choose
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring more logical progression between ideas and supporting sentences with more examples or evidence.
task achievement
Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen task achievement.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view with a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion that provide a strong framework for the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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