IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#countries #people #care #think #service #government
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The question of whether
healthcare
Use synonyms
 should be paid or free of cost has always been controversial. Many believe that payments and costs associated with care plans can disadvantage the population below
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
 line,
whereas
Linking Words
 others argue that making health services free can negatively impact the system. In my opinion, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
arguments have their own pros and cons, but the latter is a better approach provided some regulations on price management are formed. Take Canadian
healthcare
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
, the government issues
healthcare
Use synonyms
 cards which offer
healthcare
Use synonyms
 to all of its residents pro bono. Be it something as simple as a blood test to a complex neurosurgery, as long as it is medically relevant, it is all covered by the government. Needless to
say
Add a comma
say,
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 it protects financially burdened patients and their families from costly hospital bills,
it
Correct word choice
but it
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also
Linking Words
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 demerits
such
Linking Words
 as flooding of emergency wards with patients having certain unserious conditions (i.e. common cold and similar infections),
this
Linking Words
 ultimately results in increased waiting periods
as well as
Linking Words
 workload on
healthcare
Use synonyms
 workers and
hence
Linking Words
 bringing possible disadvantage to patients who actually have the need to be seen.
On the Contrary
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
healthcare
Correct article usage
a healthcare
show examples
 system similar to that in the U.S.A. is known for its costly tests and procedures.
This
Linking Words
 type of system does seem to keep sick people away from seeking medical attention but it has been proven to have positive effects in terms of waiting times and quick access to care.
However
Linking Words
, I think that the demerits of paid
healthcare
Use synonyms
 systems can be lifted by the presence of privatised health insurance companies to a great extent. It is of extreme importance that the government regulates the prices to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers from overly expensive and ineffective insurance plans. In a nutshell, the final goal is that care is received by those who need it and it can be done by synchronized and honest efforts by paid
healthcare
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 services and private insurance companies rather than making
healthcare
Use synonyms
 completely free.
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main arguments, reinforcing your viewpoint.
logical structure
The essay presents a well-structured argument with a balanced discussion of both sides.
clear comprehensive ideas
The argument is clear and thoroughly developed with relevant examples and evidence provided.
supported main points
Main points are effectively supported with examples, such as referring to the Canadian and U.S.A. healthcare systems, enhancing the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
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