Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

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There is no denying the fact that

sugar

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is a significant issue in our society.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that food and drink products should be made more expensive to

encourase

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encourage

People

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people

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to consume less

sugar

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, there is

also

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an argument that

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apply

show examples

opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that food

contain

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containing

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high

level

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levels

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sugar

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has

bad

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a bad

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effect on our

body

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bodies

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To begin

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with, plenty of people are more likely to eat sweet and high

suger

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sugar

content especially, teenagers.

In other words

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, to curb

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this common problems

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this common problem

these common problems

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, we should put strict rules to manufactured for

buill

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built

build

health and

balance

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balanced

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nutrients.

In addition

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, needless to say,

sugar

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Add an article

a peril

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peril

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perilous

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to our brain and blood

sugar

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level

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levels

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and

instead

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of using

Sugar

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, we use Vanilla to add a sweet

flavor

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flavour

show examples

For example

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, diabetes is more popular now among all community categories and the government ought to conserve a healthy environment. Another point to consider, taxing sugary products can generate substantial revenue for governments, which can

then

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be invested in health public initiatives. It is

also

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possible to say that funds from these taxes could be used to support healthcare systems.

Moreover

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, Japan's government raises billions of dollars through taxes on sugary food and beverages. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that sugary products are a crucial problem

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show examples

our community and I could not agree more with

this

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statement

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about

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reducing the prevalence of

sugar

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Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on Sun Dec 29 2024

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Introduction

Work on refining the introduction to clearly outline both views on the topic. This will provide clarity from the beginning and help guide your arguments.

Logical Structure

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main question. This will improve logical structure and coherence throughout your essay.

Supporting Points

Include more detailed examples to support your points. Providing evidence or examples will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

Language Use

Revisit some of the vocabulary and expressions you use to make sure they clearly convey your intended meaning. Consider reviewing complex sentence structures to enhance clarity.

Task Achievement Positive

The essay addresses the task and provides a clear opinion on the topic, supporting the idea that sugary products should be taxed.

Coherence and Cohesion Positive

There is a logical progression of ideas and paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion present.

Language Use Positive

The essay uses some strong expressions and vocabulary like 'curb common problems' and 'generate substantial revenue,' which add weight to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

243 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Rich countries often give financial aid to poor countries, but it does not solve poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation, and discourages private vehicle ownership. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Today people have unhealthy diets and do not exercise. What do you think why it is so. What are the reasons? Suggest some solutions for solving this situation.

The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience