Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents are better caregivers for their young children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Taking
care
of Use synonyms
children
either by Use synonyms
childecare
Correct your spelling
childcare
child-care
child care
Use synonyms
centers
or their Change the spelling
centres
grandparents
has become a vital topic of debate. Use synonyms
While
some people believe that childcare Linking Words
Use synonyms
centers
provide much better services, others would argue that Change the spelling
centres
grandparents
might take Use synonyms
care
of their grandchildren better. Use synonyms
Although
both sides of the argument highlight valuable points, which will be discussed followed by my own perspective.
First of all, childcare Linking Words
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
frequuently
offer various benefits Correct your spelling
frequently
such
as convenience for Linking Words
parents
, particularly working Use synonyms
parents
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, these Linking Words
Use synonyms
centers
not only bring convenience for Change the spelling
centres
parents
but Use synonyms
also
can educate Linking Words
children
in an accurate way, preparing them for Use synonyms
elemantery
schools. Correct your spelling
elementary
For instance
, some Linking Words
kindergarten
in my country, Iran, teach Fix the agreement mistake
kindergartens
children
Use synonyms
English
language, leading to Correct article usage
the English
Correct article usage
the developed
developed
Replace the word
development
their
skills effectively. Change preposition
of their
As a result
, these Linking Words
children
can be Use synonyms
risen
by an effective method, helping them Verb problem
raised
increasing
their self-esteem. Change the form of the verb
increase
Moreover
, preschool Linking Words
Use synonyms
centers
inherently encourage Change the spelling
centres
children
to socialize with their peers, playing together. Use synonyms
Thus
, these Linking Words
children
as young adults are more likely to be Use synonyms
prodactivity
and extrovert.
Correct your spelling
productivity
On the other hand
, some people believe that Linking Words
grandparents
might be more responsible towards their grandchild, leading to making a safe environment for them, so their Use synonyms
parents
can go to their workplaces relaxed. Use synonyms
Additionally
, Linking Words
grandparents
dedicate Use synonyms
ecountless
time to their grandchild, contributing to Correct your spelling
countless
improve
and Wrong verb form
improving
nature
their abilities and skills. The more time they devote to their grandchildren, the more skills, their grandchildren will be achieved. A prime illustration of Correct your spelling
mature
this
is a little girl who spends Linking Words
incredibely
much time with her Correct your spelling
incredibly
grandparents
, teaching her Use synonyms
Linking Words
initially
education, Change the word
initial
as a result
, she will learn how to write and read from Linking Words
very
young age.
In conclusion, there are various opinions about taking Add an article
a very
care
of Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
While
some individuals believe that preschool Linking Words
Use synonyms
centers
can take Change the spelling
centres
care
of their Use synonyms
children
in a convenient way, others would argue that their Use synonyms
granparents
are the best to take Correct your spelling
grandparents
care
of their Use synonyms
children
.I strongly advocate for Use synonyms
first
view and believe that preschool Change the article
the first
Use synonyms
centers
can bring up Change the spelling
centres
children
with standard Use synonyms
value
, helping them to be more Fix the agreement mistake
values
sociolize
and Correct your spelling
socialize
socialized
prodactivity
.Correct your spelling
productivity
Submitted by mahanz on
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coherence cohesion
To improve, make sure each paragraph has a central idea that is clearly linked to the overall topic. This will aid in logical flow and understanding.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more substantial and relevant examples to increase the level of detail and support in your argumentation.
general
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and range to enhance the clarity of your expression.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines both views and presents the writer’s opinion.
task achievement
There is a good attempt to balance the discussion by examining both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and restates your opinion clearly.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example