IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, people are not as fit and active as they used to be in the past which creates health issues in the long-run. Why do you think this is? What measures can be taken to solve this problem?

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There is a significant difference
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 physical abilities between
people
Use synonyms
 in
modern
Add an article
the modern
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 era and their descendants in which the first one is more risk to get disease.
This
Linking Words
,
from
Change the preposition
in
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 my opinion, is because
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 lifestyle allows
people
Use synonyms
 to get anything they want easier,
while
Linking Words
 the ancients need more effort. To face a
hungry
Replace the word
hunger
show examples
 attack,
for example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 today will be able to solve it from their cozy
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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by
Change preposition
with
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food
Correct article usage
a food
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 delivery service,
whereas
Linking Words
 the prior generations had to
hunting
Change the verb
hunt
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 in the jungle to get some
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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.  From that scenario, we can notice that the
ancients
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ancient
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 lifestyles
force
Wrong verb form
forced
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people
Use synonyms
 to be as active as possible for survival so that they were
healhtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
 than
their
Change the word
the
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 next generations. 
In addition
Linking Words
, health issues concerned
people
Use synonyms
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 are triggered by the kinds of food they eat as well.
While
Linking Words
 humans in the past commonly
fulfilled
Verb problem
filled
show examples
 their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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 with natural resources, many persons today prefer consuming junk foods regularly which are allegedly as bad habits that spark some illnesses
such
Linking Words
 as obesity.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, a campaign to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle has recently emerged, especially on social media platforms. The campaign,
for instance
Linking Words
, suggests that we need to habituate walking or using public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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,
instead
Linking Words
 of driving personal vehicles when
go
Change the verb form
going
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 to
office
Correct article usage
the office
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 or school. By doing so, we are automatically more active and fit to prevent the long-term health problems we may
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 obtained
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 food consumption or other
lacks
Fix the agreement mistake
lack
show examples
 of positive habits. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 that are not as active and fit as they used to be in the past may be caused by
bad
Add an article
the bad
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the way they eat and how they move. So, in my opinion, to increase
well-beings
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 and to reduce health issues, we need to exercise ourselves as much as possible,
as well as
Linking Words
 to be more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
foodstuff
Correct article usage
the foodstuff
show examples
 we would like to eat.

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coherence cohesion
Some sentences in the essay could be structured more clearly. Try to break complex sentences into simpler ones for clearer communication.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points made in the essay are directly connected to the main topic and consistently develop the argument. You can enhance this by planning the structure before writing.
task achievement
While the essay presents relevant examples, introducing more specific evidence or statistics would add depth and clarity.
task achievement
Ensure the essay consistently addresses all aspects of the task question and maintains focus on solving the identified problems through clear steps.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses examples to explain the difference between modern and past lifestyles, making the argument more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points well and offers a solid solution, showing a clear understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is engaging and sets the stage for the discussion well, highlighting your ability to hook the reader.
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