Nowadays, people are not as fit and active as they used to be in the past which creates health issues in the long-run. Why do you think this is? What measures can be taken to solve this problem?
There is a significant difference
on
physical abilities between Change preposition
in
people
in Use synonyms
modern
era and their descendants in which the first one is more risk to get disease. Add an article
the modern
This
, Linking Words
from
my opinion, is because Change the preposition
in
modern
lifestyle allows Correct article usage
the modern
people
to get anything they want easier, Use synonyms
while
the ancients need more effort. To face a Linking Words
hungry
attack, Replace the word
hunger
for example
, Linking Words
people
today will be able to solve it from their cozy Use synonyms
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
by
Change preposition
with
food
delivery service, Correct article usage
a food
whereas
the prior generations had to Linking Words
hunting
in the jungle to get some Change the verb
hunt
foods
.
From that scenario, we can notice that the Fix the agreement mistake
food
ancients
lifestyles Change the noun form
ancient
force
Wrong verb form
forced
people
to be as active as possible for survival so that they were Use synonyms
healhtier
than Correct your spelling
healthier
their
next generations. Change the word
the
In addition
, health issues concerned Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
nowdays
are triggered by the kinds of food they eat as well. Correct the word
nowadays
While
humans in the past commonly Linking Words
fulfilled
their Verb problem
filled
body
with natural resources, many persons today prefer consuming junk foods regularly which are allegedly as bad habits that spark some illnesses Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
such
as obesity.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
, a campaign to encourage Linking Words
people
to have Use synonyms
healthy
lifestyle has recently emerged, especially on social media platforms. The campaign, Add an article
a healthy
for instance
, suggests that we need to habituate walking or using public Linking Words
transportations
, Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
instead
of driving personal vehicles when Linking Words
go
to Change the verb form
going
office
or school. By doing so, we are automatically more active and fit to prevent the long-term health problems we may Correct article usage
the office
be
obtained Verb problem
have
by
food consumption or other Change preposition
from
lacks
of positive habits.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
lack
people
that are not as active and fit as they used to be in the past may be caused by Use synonyms
bad
Add an article
the bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
of
the way they eat and how they move. So, in my opinion, to increase Change preposition
in
well-beings
and to reduce health issues, we need to exercise ourselves as much as possible, Correct your spelling
well-being
as well as
to be more aware Linking Words
about
Change the preposition
of
foodstuff
we would like to eat.Correct article usage
the foodstuff
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coherence cohesion
Some sentences in the essay could be structured more clearly. Try to break complex sentences into simpler ones for clearer communication.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points made in the essay are directly connected to the main topic and consistently develop the argument. You can enhance this by planning the structure before writing.
task achievement
While the essay presents relevant examples, introducing more specific evidence or statistics would add depth and clarity.
task achievement
Ensure the essay consistently addresses all aspects of the task question and maintains focus on solving the identified problems through clear steps.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses examples to explain the difference between modern and past lifestyles, making the argument more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points well and offers a solid solution, showing a clear understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is engaging and sets the stage for the discussion well, highlighting your ability to hook the reader.