Write a 250-word essay on the following topic (vocabulary is on the page 8): It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today's society,

risk

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is the one of widely discussed phenomena, and it is considered to be essential for individuals in their careers and personal matters. In my opinion,

risks

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can be very beneficial or have serious negative consequences depending on their nature and

certainity

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certainty

certain

level. In terms of disadvantages, some

risks

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may cause loss when they are not well-calculated.

Firstly

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, when people make important financial decisions without doing necessary research, there is a high chance of failure.

For example

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, nowadays, the stock market is

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

popular way of investing in many countries. When a person puts all of his savings in one company's shares without having any relevant information about it or taking

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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precautions

such

Linking Words

risk

Use synonyms

diversification, he or she may lose all the invested money very soon.

Same

Correct article usage

The same

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applies to their personal life. Many adults take very serious steps in their romantic relationships without knowing their partner very well or making sure it is actually what they want.

Therefore

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, these are very radical decisions and their whole life can be impacted, not always in a good way.

On the other hand

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, when

risks

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are well-evaluated they may have

long- term

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long-term

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career and personal benefits for people. Advancement in professional life can not be achieved with no

risks

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taken. Sometimes, no matter how much employees work for the same company, they can get promoted. They have to be willing to leave their safe zone and ready for new journeys to accomplish their job-related goals.

Hence

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, right and on-time

risks

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are usually followed by success.

Moreover

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, some personal aspirations and dreams can not come true without

Use synonyms

risk

Correct article usage

the risk

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of making mistakes.Some

risks

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may lead to life-changing career and personal development opportunities.

For instance

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, a student is willing to

risk

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his current job and education

Remove the comma

apply

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and takes a scholarship offer abroad. He ends up getting hired by an international company in a new country, travelling and exploring new places, and many other merits.

To conclude

Linking Words

risks

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can be very

advantagous

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advantageous

or may result in pure negative events. It is not good to

make

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take

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risks

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in uncertainty.

However

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, they should not always be

avoied

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avoided

and,

Change preposition

show examples

contrary

Correct article usage

the contrary

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, be exploited sometimes.

Submitted by laman.nazarovaa on Mon Dec 30 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Try to ensure that the essay maintains a balanced distribution of support between the points made. Some points are more heavily supported than others.

General Language Use

There are a few language inaccuracies, like 'step' instead of 'steps' and 'on-time.' While they do not heavily impact understanding, be attentive to these when proofreading.

Task Achievement

In discussing disadvantages, avoid assuming knowledge about the readers (e.g., stock market). Explain it briefly for greater clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Task Achievement

The examples provided, such as those related to financial risks and romantic relationships, are relevant and well integrated into the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion effectively paraphrases and summarises the key points discussed, reinforcing the essay's central argument.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

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Write a 250-word essay on the following topic (vocabulary is on the page 8): It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Indvidual greed and selfishnesss have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more treaditional values of respect for the family and local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

as computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. do you agree or disagree"?

Many people around the world spend the majority of their free time at home watching TV shows. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

These days, there is too much plastic in our oceans, which negatively affects marine life. What are the reasons for this, and how can this situation be improved?