IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #student #enrolments #three #universities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graph illustrates abroad
students
Use synonyms
 registering at three colleges from five countries namely India, Nepal, Vietnam, Indonesia, and Columbia. In general, it can be seen that India contributes the most significant
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 at three
universities
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, The
University
Use synonyms
 of River has the highest
abroad
Correct quantifier usage
number of abroad
show examples
 learners from every
nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
show examples
. Turning to the top two
contributor
Change to a plural noun
contributors
show examples
, in all observed
universities
Use synonyms
, India
places at
Verb problem
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first nation supplying more than 5000 individuals.
This
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
followed
Add a missing verb
is followed
show examples
 by Nepal as the second place having 5000 international
students
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
University
Use synonyms
 of
riverview
Change the capitalization
Riverview
show examples
 and 4000 for the rest
universities
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are around 3000 persons from Vietnam
study
Correct pronoun usage
who study
show examples
 in three
universities
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, Indonesia and Colombia have relatively the same
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 at less than 1000.
However
Linking Words
, Indonesia supplies across than Columbia around 500 people.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of international
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 from Columbia at Earlwood
University
Use synonyms
 is higher than Smithtown
University
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by wiwitrahayu.ptplnnp on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, number, universities, university with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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