Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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opinions differ regarding whether or not there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
necessarity
Correct your spelling
necessity
to go to the
cinema
Use synonyms
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
movies
Use synonyms
are seen on
smartphones
Use synonyms
and laptops.
While
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critics insist that
people
Use synonyms
need to go to the
cinema
Use synonyms
to completely enjoy
movies
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, I personally disagree with
this
Linking Words
assertion since watching
movies
Use synonyms
on
smartphones
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
many
genre
Fix the agreement mistake
genres
show examples
Use synonyms
movies
Change preposition
of movies
show examples
On the one hand, there are
mamor
Correct your spelling
many
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
why spectators can focus more on
movies
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, individuals easily 몰입하다( concentrate) on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the movie's
show examples
movie's
Change noun form
movie
show examples
sceen
Correct your spelling
screen
scene
because there are technologies that help them to feel reality
such
Linking Words
as 3D and 4D. To explain, it is
eay
Correct your spelling
easy
to watch
movies
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because the
cinema
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has
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
show examples
screen and better quality sound.
Moreover
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, if
people
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watch
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movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
with 3D and 4D technologies, they feel like they are into
Use synonyms
movie's
Change noun form
movie
show examples
sceen
Correct your spelling
screen
scene
scenes
that are seen in the
cinema
Use synonyms
, which makes them remember well and enjoy
movies
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, there are major two reasons why many
people
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watch
movies
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on their
smartphones
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they can watch various genres
Use synonyms
movies
Change preposition
of movies
show examples
on
smartphones
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with
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
price that
people
Use synonyms
watch only one
movie
Use synonyms
in the
cinema
Use synonyms
because streaming services have been developed for a couple of years. To summarise, streaming services have a large number of genres and generations
Use synonyms
movies
Change preposition
of movies
show examples
with 1,000
dollers
Correct your spelling
dollars
.
Furthermore
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, they can watch
movies
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with their tastes.
Moreover
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, if
people
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go to the
cinema
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to watch
Use synonyms
movie
Add an article
a movie
the movie
show examples
, they have to pay
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
price for only one
movie
Use synonyms
, which many
people
Use synonyms
feel not only is
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
expensive but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
difficult to
afforde
Correct your spelling
afford
afforded
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, watching
filmes
Correct your spelling
films
in the
cinema
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important role in being
contrated
Correct your spelling
contracted
concentrated
contacted
on
Use synonyms
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it is
wathcing filmes
Correct your spelling
watching films
on
smartphone
Add an article
a smartphone
the smartphone
show examples
is cheaper than going to the
cinema
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by garim4645 on

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language
Pay attention to proofreading to correct minor spelling errors such as 'necessarity' and 'beacause.'
content
Try to develop each point with specific examples and more detailed analysis to enhance your arguments.
structure
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports the main argument to increase coherence.
content
You have presented both sides of the argument clearly, showcasing an understanding of different perspectives.
structure
The introduction and conclusion adequately frame your essay, providing a clear overview and summarising your stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Mobile Viewing
  • Cost-efficient
  • Time-efficient
  • Personalized experience
  • Immersive
  • Cinematic experience
  • Surround sound
  • Collective experience
  • Technical superiority
  • Sensory experience
  • Social hubs
  • Cultural events
  • Distractions
  • Preservation
  • Filmmaking art
  • Cinematographic nuances
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