IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many youngsters do unpaid work to help their local community,which benefits both themselves and society.Some people believe that all teenagers should thus be required to do unpaid work in their free time. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that several young
people
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 are doing volunteer
work
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their community, which is
benefical
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beneficial
 for them and their society.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that unpaid
work
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 for teenagers should be required, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes
this
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 pressing topic. In my opinion, I consider mandatory unpaid
work
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 for young individuals is unfair.
To begin
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 with, volunteer
work
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 is crucial for young
people
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.
In other words
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, helps them learn ethics and be more collaborative.
Moreover
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, it is unfair to force these teenagers to
work
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 without being paid
due to
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 their busy
schdule
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schedule
schedules
, they still have to go to school and learn.
For example
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, some teens they have to
work
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part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 to be
independat
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independent
.
Nevertheless
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, they have school
work
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 to do plus some of them are
athlatic
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athletic
. Another point to consider,
force
Wrong verb form
forcing
show examples
 them to
work
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 for free would not teach them
haow
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how
 to save money or be
financally independat
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financially independent
,
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and viceversa
show examples
viceversa
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vice versa
vice-versa
 it will teach them to
relay
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rely
show examples
 on others. For
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instance
instancem
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instancem,
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 if they have
school
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a school
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 trip they will have to ask their parents for money because they
work
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 for free, but if they are
reciveing
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receiving
 money for their efforts
then
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tehy
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they
 would not have to ask. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, I tend to believe that young
people
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 should be paid and rewarded.

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task achievement
Try to further develop your main points with more examples or explanations. Consider why mandatory volunteer work is unfair, supporting your viewpoint with compelling arguments.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and vocabulary to ensure clarity and cohesion. Using transition words or phrases will help the flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your essay well.
logical structure
The essay structure is logical, with distinct points laid out across paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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