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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The illustration gives information about the finances of a charity organisation in the United States, detailing the
revenue
Use synonyms
 sources
as well as
Linking Words
 how it was utilised during the year 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, donated food made up the majority of income,
whereas
Linking Words
, investments and government grants contributed the least. Regarding expenditures, the charity spent the most on program services,
while
Linking Words
 management and general expenses took up the smallest fraction of
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
. In 2016, a total of $53,561,580 USD was generated in
revenue
Use synonyms
, out of which 86% came from donated food, followed by community contributions, the 2nd largest
revenue
Use synonyms
 source with 10%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, program
revenue
Use synonyms
, investments,
government
Correct word choice
and government
show examples
 grants, among other sources, all contributed with very small percentages (2.2%, 0.7%, 0.2%, and 0.4%, respectively). In regards to how
this
Linking Words
 money was spent, a total of $52,224,896 USD was put towards the organisation's goals. About 96% of total
revenue
Use synonyms
 was spent on program services, meanwhile, the other 4% went into financing, the fundraisers (2.6%) and the management (1.6%).

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words revenue with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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