IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #job #time #development
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In
order
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 to support ourselves nowadays it is quite hard to do with only
one
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job
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. There are more and more
people
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 who have to look for second or even third
jobs
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 in
order
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 to support living expenses. Two of the main reasons why
this
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 is happening are low wages and limited hours. Anyone who is living in a big or small city can understand the struggle of having multiple
jobs
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. Every employer is trying to save money to benefit the business which can result in low wages. In
this
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 case, employees have to work another
job
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 in
order
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 to provide basics for the family.
Limited
Correct article usage
A limited
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 amount of working hours per week
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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 in
job
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 searches and having multiple employers.
People
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 just cannot commit to
one
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job
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. There are definitely
people
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 who choose to work multiple
jobs
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 but most of the
time
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this
Linking Words
 is happening
due to
Linking Words
 financial struggles. Having multiple
jobs
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 can feel like a nightmare
due to
Linking Words
 so many changes and day-to-day responsibilities. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 advantages to having
this
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 kind of life. Having multiple
jobs
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 is great for learning multiple things at the same
time
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, it gives an opportunity to gain more experience in a shorter period of
time
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 which can bring a lot of benefits in the long run and open more stable
job
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 opportunities. It might sound exhausting but
this
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 lifestyle makes
people
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 stronger and teaches
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 appreciate when the right opportunity comes. Disadvantages of having
this
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 lifestyle
also
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 exist,
such
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 as
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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burnout and lack of free
time
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, but with the right
organization
Add a comma
organization,
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this
Linking Words
 can be managed. Always running from
one
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job
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 to another might be very
.challenging
Correct your spelling
challenging
. On the
one
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 hand, it takes everything from a person but on the other it provides endless opportunities. In
order
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 to keep
this
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 rhythm is important to stay strong and
one
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 day it will pay off
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Submitted by Alla on

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples from your own knowledge or experience to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Divide your paragraphs more clearly, and consider using transition words or phrases to improve flow.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies low wages and limited working hours as the primary reasons for people taking on multiple jobs.
coherence cohesion
Good structure with a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
A thoughtful analysis of both advantages and disadvantages of having multiple jobs is provided, balanced and well-presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic stability
  • Multiple income streams
  • Gig economy
  • Freelance work
  • Contract work
  • Professional development
  • Financial security
  • Job market
  • Diversified income
  • Burnout
  • Skill set
  • Networking opportunities
  • Work-life balance
  • Mental well-being
  • Time management
What to do next:
Look at other essays: