Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some
faction
of Fix the agreement mistake
factions
people
claim that sharing Use synonyms
information
in large Use synonyms
classification
Fix the agreement mistake
classifications
such
as scientific research, business and Linking Words
academic
world as much as possible is Correct article usage
the academic
good
way. Other Change the article
a good
people
ponder that some Use synonyms
information
just is Use synonyms
more
sufficient for sharing freely with each other. I believe that it is essential that all Correct quantifier usage
apply
information
is publicly available. Use synonyms
This
essay will delve Linking Words
both
these views and give some Change preposition
into both
example
.
Some fraction of Fix the agreement mistake
examples
people
suppose that all Use synonyms
information
about business, Use synonyms
academic
world and research of science have to Add an article
the academic
situate
in public. Wrong verb form
be situated
This
way Linking Words
contribute
to Change the verb form
contributes
improve
Change the verb form
improving
proffessional
knowledge for each topic and Correct your spelling
professional
peoople
can use them Correct your spelling
people
on
their works and universities. Change preposition
in
For instance
, most of the master's students need Linking Words
to
huge amounts of data for writing their essays and articles, they can use Change preposition
apply
kind
of professional website which they locate Correct article usage
a kind
especial
Change the word
especially
thesis
and they have access to all Correct article usage
the thesis
kind
of data and students Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
able
to choose the best Add a missing verb
are able
information
. Use synonyms
In addition
, having accurate and detailed content can Linking Words
further
help raise awareness about that specific thesis. Linking Words
For example
, everyone can gain useful Linking Words
information
in their field Use synonyms
such
as programmers, doctors and engineers.
Linking Words
In contrast
, some human beings believe that not all Linking Words
informatin
should be made available to the public freely. Not only some Correct your spelling
information
datas
are secret but Correct your spelling
data
also
existing access for all Linking Words
people
is dangerous. Use synonyms
For instance
, in Linking Words
chemistry
there are a lot of chemical compounds that Add a comma
chemistry,
they
need Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
specific knowledge. If Change preposition
apply
people
have the ingredients in the pills, they will definitely harm themselves and others. Use synonyms
Whereas
it needs Linking Words
to
primary knowledge and Change preposition
apply
having
academic Unnecessary verb
apply
information
. Use synonyms
Second,
some specific Linking Words
datas
are Correct your spelling
data
dates
belonge
to Correct your spelling
belonged
belong
a
writers and Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
people
must have permission to use it and have paid for it.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, it is better to have all the Linking Words
informatoin
available for developing Correct your spelling
information
people
's Use synonyms
awarness
. Correct your spelling
awareness
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
people
need Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
apply
a lots
of Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
information
, Use synonyms
sometimes
, having too Correct word choice
and sometimes
muss
specialized Correct your spelling
much
information
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
on
people
's data puts them at risk of danger.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
First, ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. For example, the point about chemical compounds could be better connected to the main theme of restricted access to important information. Additionally, try to group similar ideas together within each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Work on simplifying your sentences to improve clarity. For example, the phrase 'some fraction of people suppose' would be clearer as 'some people believe.' Avoid unnecessary complexity that could confuse your reader.
coherence cohesion
Do try to provide varied sentence structures to improve readability and interest. Currently, the sentences are often similarly structured, which can make your writing seem monotonous.
task achievement
While you present points for both views, consider expanding your explanation with more detailed examples or exploration for a deeper response. This will strengthen your argument and show a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Clarify your main points and ensure that they coherently align to transform your argument into a balanced discussion. For instance, clearly delineating the advantages and disadvantages would add to the depth of your essay.
task achievement
Your examples need to be more specific and directly related to the essay topic. For example, rather than speaking generically about master's students, focus on a specific scenario where information sharing or withholding impacted their studies.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The essay covers both perspectives on the topic and includes an opinion, which meets the task requirements.