Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some

faction

Fix the agreement mistake

factions

show examples

people

Use synonyms

claim that sharing

information

Use synonyms

in large

classification

Fix the agreement mistake

classifications

show examples

such

Linking Words

as scientific research, business and

academic

Correct article usage

the academic

show examples

world as much as possible is

good

Change the article

a good

show examples

way. Other

people

Use synonyms

ponder that some

information

Use synonyms

just is

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

sufficient for sharing freely with each other. I believe that it is essential that all

information

Use synonyms

is publicly available.

This

Linking Words

essay will delve

both

Change preposition

into both

show examples

these views and give some

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

. Some fraction of

people

Use synonyms

suppose that all

information

Use synonyms

about business,

academic

Add an article

the academic

show examples

world and research of science have to

situate

Wrong verb form

be situated

show examples

in public.

This

Linking Words

way

contribute

Change the verb form

contributes

show examples

improve

Change the verb form

improving

show examples

proffessional

Correct your spelling

professional

knowledge for each topic and

peoople

Correct your spelling

people

can use them

Change preposition

show examples

their works and universities.

For instance

Linking Words

, most of the master's students need

Change preposition

apply

show examples

huge amounts of data for writing their essays and articles, they can use

kind

Correct article usage

a kind

show examples

of professional website which they locate

especial

Change the word

especially

show examples

thesis

Correct article usage

the thesis

show examples

and they have access to all

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of data and students

able

Add a missing verb

are able

show examples

to choose the best

information

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, having accurate and detailed content can

further

Linking Words

help raise awareness about that specific thesis.

For example

Linking Words

, everyone can gain useful

information

Use synonyms

in their field

such

Linking Words

as programmers, doctors and engineers.

In contrast

Linking Words

, some human beings believe that not all

informatin

Correct your spelling

information

should be made available to the public freely. Not only some

datas

Correct your spelling

data

are secret but

also

Linking Words

existing access for all

people

Use synonyms

is dangerous.

For instance

Linking Words

, in

chemistry

Add a comma

chemistry,

show examples

there are a lot of chemical compounds that

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

need

Change preposition

apply

show examples

specific knowledge. If

people

Use synonyms

have the ingredients in the pills, they will definitely harm themselves and others.

Whereas

Linking Words

it needs

Change preposition

apply

show examples

primary knowledge and

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

academic

information

Use synonyms

Second,

Linking Words

some specific

datas

Correct your spelling

data

dates

are

belonge

Correct your spelling

belonged

belong

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

writers and

people

Use synonyms

must have permission to use it and have paid for it.

To sum up

Linking Words

, it is better to have all the

informatoin

Correct your spelling

information

available for developing

people

Use synonyms

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

people

Use synonyms

need

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

information

Use synonyms

sometimes

Correct word choice

and sometimes

show examples

, having too

muss

Correct your spelling

much

show examples

specialized

information

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

people

Use synonyms

's data puts them at risk of danger.

mellika.sadeghi1Tue Dec 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

First, ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. For example, the point about chemical compounds could be better connected to the main theme of restricted access to important information. Additionally, try to group similar ideas together within each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Work on simplifying your sentences to improve clarity. For example, the phrase 'some fraction of people suppose' would be clearer as 'some people believe.' Avoid unnecessary complexity that could confuse your reader.

coherence cohesion

Do try to provide varied sentence structures to improve readability and interest. Currently, the sentences are often similarly structured, which can make your writing seem monotonous.

task achievement

While you present points for both views, consider expanding your explanation with more detailed examples or exploration for a deeper response. This will strengthen your argument and show a thorough understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Clarify your main points and ensure that they coherently align to transform your argument into a balanced discussion. For instance, clearly delineating the advantages and disadvantages would add to the depth of your essay.

task achievement

Your examples need to be more specific and directly related to the essay topic. For example, rather than speaking generically about master's students, focus on a specific scenario where information sharing or withholding impacted their studies.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

The essay covers both perspectives on the topic and includes an opinion, which meets the task requirements.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

information sharing
scientific research
business
academic world
advancement of knowledge
progress
collaboration
cross-disciplinary research
open access
democratization of information
transparency
credibility
intellectual property
security concerns
commercial interests

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people argue that governments should make laws regarding people’s nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedom of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the modern era, there are some groups who insist that a related law should be created in order to impose on people a responsibility to look after their health with food. However, the other assertive perspective should be also considered that a government can encourage people in a different way by providing more information to the public.
6
band
In some countries around the world men and women are having children later in life.What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?
There has been a decrease in youngsters willing to childbearing in some countries recently, they prefer to delay their parenthood and become tentative about forming a family or having children.From my perspective,there might be some reasons contributing to this social phenomenon.Regardless of the situation,it can cause some far-reaching and negative effects on our society and country.
<4
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problem, as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement
Communication in a non native language for people who staying overseas have impact to social matter as same as training issues. I strongly agree language barrier always main reason people can not interact in society where they living in other nation.
6
band
The rising levels of congestion and air pollution found in most of the world cities can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this decline in the quality of life in cities, attempts must be made to encourage people to use their cars less and public transport more. Discuss possible ways to encourage the use of public transport.
In a world of increasing environmental awareness improved public transport represents the way of the future. Although people do enjoy the convenience and privacy of traveling in their own private vehicles, in my opinion they may choose public transport if it fulfills certain conditions. These conditions fall into three broad categories: attitudinal, financial and logistical.
5
band
The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The narrative to minimize traffic in urban areas by implementing mobility restrictions recently is a hot discussion among citizens. Activity that supports traffic such as going to school or work is need to add some restrictions, for sake of reducing traffic. Objectively, there are some benefits, however i partly disagree with some extent for this solution.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that governments should make laws regarding people’s nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedom of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries around the world men and women are having children later in life.What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problem, as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?