Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As a matter of fact, the globe has been
interwined
Correct your spelling
intertwined
more than before, people now are closer to each other which brings more humanitarian accountability. following that, how far wealthier administrations
such
Linking Words
as
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States can intervene in the
development
Use synonyms
path of poor
countries
Use synonyms
?
This
Linking Words
is a critical issue when it comes to global
development
Use synonyms
topic. I, personally, think that
this
Linking Words
level relates to the point after that the poorer
countries
Use synonyms
could continue by themselves. First of all, national progress requires not only human resources
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but money, management and technology that are with developed
countries
Use synonyms
. Anyhow, less developed
countries
Use synonyms
must fill
these whole package
Change the determiner
this whole package
these whole packages
show examples
by taking it from more developed ones since
otherwise
Linking Words
its cost would be so
higher
Correct word choice
high
show examples
that may even
damages
Change the verb form
damage
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
whole
whoel
Correct your spelling
whole
world.
For example
Linking Words
, imagine starting a pandemic
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
an African country, which could have been easily prevented by Western
countries
Use synonyms
. Alternatively, imagine how good would it be for the world if
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
Eastern economy and education were integrated
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the international community by Western loans.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the developmental contribution coming from
Add an article
the western
show examples
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
world,
for instance
Linking Words
,
shold
Correct your spelling
should
not take the whole work for weaker nations. As soon as more prosperous
countries
Use synonyms
are ensured that the poor
countries
Use synonyms
are now capable to
resueme
Correct your spelling
resume
their
development
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
cooperation had better
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
stop.
This
Linking Words
pont
Correct your spelling
point
post
might vary depending on the aspects.
For instance
Linking Words
, economics may be sooner than health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
as it is more sensitive. In summary, in
this
Linking Words
new
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
international cooperation between rich and poor societies
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
inevitable for global equal
development
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
collaboration must not pass the critical point, in which a country can go by itself, which is more crucial to a nation's
development
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Saeed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, it is important to include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This could help to better illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
For enhancing coherence and cohesion, consider using connecting words and phrases more consistently to clearly guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a logical flow in your arguments, ensuring that each paragraph builds on the previous one and logically leads into the next to boost coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction does a good job of setting up the topic and stating your personal opinion, which is clearly linked to the essay question.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas of the essay, tying back to the introduction and reinforcing your position.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging the complexity of the issue and proposing a threshold for international support, which helps to demonstrate depth of understanding.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global inequality
  • Economic interdependence
  • Global citizenry
  • Historical exploitation
  • Reparations
  • Systemic poverty
  • Aid effectiveness
  • Corruption
  • Bureaucracy
  • Sustainable development
  • Empowerment
  • Dependency
  • International collaboration
  • Knowledge transfer
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Educational reform
  • Trade relations
  • Security and stability
  • Conflict resolution
  • Extremism
  • Innovation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: