IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table shows information about department stores and online stores in Australia in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows information about department stores and online stores in Australia in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
char
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chart
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 provides data related to the economic activity of two
type
Change to a plural noun
types
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 of stores in Australia in 2011.
Overall
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, is noticeable that, in general, online shops were more successful than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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physical
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 but
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
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 not a big deal. As can be seen in the table there is a huge difference between both commerces, being the online stores 5 times more than the department ones.
Consequently
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, the growth trend is smaller in
traditionals
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traditional
 up to 4% annually, 2% less than the others.
However
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, the profit obtained during that year did not differ that much, the non-conventional businesses raising up to 807 AUD,
while
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 websites made slightly more, 863 AUD in total.
Lastly
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, looking at the sales revenue is appreciated that the variation from one to the other is just 700 AUD, where the online shops were those who achieved the most. To summarize, is crystal clear that even people preferred shopping on websites rather than in physical stores, the money raised from both of them does not differ that much,
impliying
Correct your spelling
implying
 that both were essential in 2011.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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