Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

People have different opinions regarding the
subjects
that
students
learn. Some individuals assume it is essential for
students
to learn about the subject they are interested in to increase their creativity.
However
, I believe that learning about heavy
subjects
such
as
science
will be useful for the
students
to help develop
technology
eventually. There is a benefit for
students
who study some
subjects
which they love as it can enhance their inventiveness.
Students
who have a high interest in learning will definitely be motivated to develop skills and excellence in a particular field.
For instance
, the US promotes and gives
students
the freedom to select their interests in the arts and sports.
For instance
, the US promotes and gives
students
the freedom to select their interests in the arts and sports.
Therefore
, the United States has produced a lot of popular singers and athletes in
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
world. On the one hand, some people believe that studying
science
is crucial for developing
technology
in the future. If many
students
learn about
science
and
technology
, it will be easier to create new technologies in the fields of electronics and health. As a case in point, nowadays there are still many diseases that have no cure, so scientists are needed in the future to solve these problems. As an illustration, Japan is one of the nations with the greatest technological advancements in the world and a major producer of electronics as it has taught
science
to
students
since elementary school. In conclusion, even if
students
who study areas they are interested in can become imaginative, I personally believe that the system ought to educate
students
about challenging
subjects
like
science
in order to eventually contribute to the development of
technology
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Content Development
To strengthen your argument, consider providing more varied examples from different fields besides the ones you've chosen. This could add depth to your discussion and better illustrate your points.
Writing Technique
Be cautious of repetitive statements; for example, the phrase about the U.S. promoting freedom in selecting interests is repeated. Proofreading could prevent such redundancies and make your argument clearer.
Argument Balance
Try to ensure a balanced discussion between the two views before stating your opinion. While your essay leans towards one perspective, giving equal treatment to both arguments can enrich your analysis.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your essay, establishing your stance on the issue.
Use of Examples
You've provided specific examples, such as references to the United States and Japan, which solidify your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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