Some people believe that reading stories from e-book better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Modern technology has
revolutionize
Wrong verb form
revolutionised
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everything in life
.some
Correct your spelling
Some
folks think it's better to read electronic
books
Use synonyms
rather than
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
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something on TV or
playing
Wrong verb form
play
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games .I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
statement and I will explain my view later in the essay First of all,
e
Add a hyphen
e-books
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books
Use synonyms
are a great technological incentive.
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however
Add a comma
however,
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it's primarily benefits
Change the verb form
it primarily benefits
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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book lovers.
anyone
Capitalize word
Anyone
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who is fond of
books
Use synonyms
can
get
Verb problem
take
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advantage
Add an article
the advantage
show examples
of
this
Linking Words
new form of reading material.
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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more convenient and efficient.
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for
Capitalize word
For
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example anyone who loves reading
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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no longer
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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to carry
the
Correct article usage
apply
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heavy
books
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or go
the
Change preposition
to the
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library to get material on latest or required topics.everything is available in phones tablets and other electronic gadgets in the blink of the eye .they can experience it anywhere without carrying a heavy bag.be it in
travellings
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travel
show examples
, waiting for someone in
restaurant
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a restaurant
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or in any corner of the world.
hence
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why it's definitely
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
option for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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book lovers .
However
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many people are simply not too fond of literature and
books
Use synonyms
.they
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
like to watch the shows and dramas airing on screens
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
televisons
Correct your spelling
televisions
television
so reading is not their cup of tea be it physical form or electronic material.
For example
Linking Words
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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housewives in my country Pakistan are habitual of watching TV
at the end
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of the long day.
its
Correct your spelling
It is
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a way of relaxing
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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off
Change preposition
apply
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after
long
Add an article
a long
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tiring day , full of house chores.they prefer it and enjoy it more than anything else
.
Correct your spelling
Similarly
similarly
Linking Words
children and young teens like to sit in front of their devices to play their video games as they spend enough time in their schools and colleges with their curriculum already.
Linking Words
besides
Capitalize word
Besides
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
younger people, games are more exciting than reading . To
concluded
Wrong verb form
conclude
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
reading through electronic
books
Use synonyms
is a better choice for the people who enjoy it
however
Linking Words
for others it's not a better choice .
Submitted by tahseen.ayesha12 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your essay by organizing your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that states the main idea, followed by supporting sentences.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to enhance the clarity of your ideas. Make sure each sentence is complete and clear.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic and presents a clear opinion on the issue.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples are provided to support your points, such as the mention of housewives in Pakistan and how they engage with TV.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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