IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pleasure #time #imagination #television
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A fraction of people read for pleasure in their free
time
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
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, many people prefer to watch television. The first kind of society
have
Change the verb form
has
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 a better
imagination
Use synonyms
 than the second type. I agree with
this
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 statement. Books have a lot of benefits for readers. At the same
time
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, the TV has positives and negatives. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss
this
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 topic. On the one hand, some adults and teenagers have many breaks in their workdays. So, they need to kinds of facilities to do. Reading is the most popular habit
Linking Words
Correct pronoun usage
that last
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last
Replace the word
lasts
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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thousands of years until these days. It's an
imagination
Use synonyms
 activity for yourself.
Also
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, there are many stories in books for every group ages with different
difficult
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difficulty
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 levels.
For example
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, professors and scientists choose to read complex book collections in their field.
While
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 others start with public
imagination
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 subjects. Because it's simple to understand.
On the other hand
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, many people show the opposite that watching screens has advantages in
this
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 section. Generally, TV show programs during the day.
Such
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 as cultural,
economical
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economic
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 and science programs for adults.
While
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 action films are more attractive for teenagers.
As a result
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, there are
not
Correct your spelling
no
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 chances to watch useful documentaries.
Moreover
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, Television has drawbacks for viewers.
For instance
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, damage
on
Change preposition
to
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 the eyes, sitting a long
time
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 on the chair and wasting
time
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. In conclusion, book readers have a better
imagination
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 than those who watch TV.
Additionally
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, the oldest nations used to read often the
time
Use synonyms
. With the right level to their minds.
Lastly
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, the smart screens are not useful currently.
Submitted by kalmah.sa20 on

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task achievement
Try to further elaborate on your main points with more specific examples or explanations to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the logical structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear stance on the topic.
task achievement
You clearly address the task with a complete response, acknowledging both sides of the argument while siding with one.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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