Some people say that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits. Do you agree or disagree?
There is an opinion that more serious issues are indicated by modern development than merits. I personally completely agree with
this
assertion since it has a negative effect on Linking Words
the
house Correct article usage
apply
price
and the environment.
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
To begin
with, there are two major reasons why modern development has issues. Linking Words
Firstly
, uncountless people live in a city because of urbanisation. To explain, it is common to become cities from Linking Words
countrysidies
. Correct your spelling
countryside
countrysides
Furthermore
, a large number of individuals move to the city to get a job because many businesses are located in the city. Linking Words
For
Linking Words
this
reason, it leads to 인구과몰입 phenomenon, which results Linking Words
to
increase unimaginably Change preposition
in to
the
house Correct article usage
apply
price
. Fix the agreement mistake
prices
As a result
, citizens cannot buy their own homes. Linking Words
Moreover
, there are a lot of traffic jams during rush hour Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
this
circumstance.
On top of that, by operating many factories for economic growth, the environment is being Linking Words
destructed
. To explain, it is Verb problem
destroyed
neseccary
for economic development to operate factories. Correct your spelling
necessary
However
, they emit carbon dioxide Linking Words
in
the air, which is Change preposition
into
deterioted
international problems Correct your spelling
deteriorated
such
as global warming and climate change. Linking Words
Therefore
, not only Linking Words
is
itVerb problem
does
damages
wild animals but many wild animals Correct subject-verb agreement
damage
also
might Linking Words
became
Verb problem
cause
the
extinction. Correct article usage
apply
For
Linking Words
this
reason, it is likely that Linking Words
food
chain Correct article usage
the food
unappears
in a few Correct your spelling
unappear
decade
, Change to a plural noun
decades
which
people will suffer from food Correct word choice
and
shortage
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
it is clear that
modern innovation Linking Words
enable
citizens to difficutly have their own homes and, it is undeniable that people will have serious problems Change the verb form
enables
such
Linking Words
food
shortage.Change preposition
as food
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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the task and presents a clear position, but it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples to support the main points. This will help strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
There are occasions where the organization of ideas could be improved for better clarity. Try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and use linking words effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
You present a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your response and provides a logical flow from start to finish.
Task Achievement
You have identified two main negative impacts of modern innovations, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.