IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

As well as making money, businesses have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
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there is an opinion that not only do companies earn a lot of money but they
also
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 have social responsibilities. I
peronally
Correct your spelling
personally
 completely agree with
this
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 assertion since they have a big influence on society.
To begin
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 with, there are two major reasons why businesses have social responsibilities.
Firstly
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, when they develop technologies, they
exerts
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exert
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 a negative effect on the
environment
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 because cars that they make drive on the road, which emit carbon dioxide.
Therefore
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, they should consider how they keep the
environment
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with
Change preposition
by
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 developing their technologies
due to
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 their influence is big
for
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on
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 the
environment
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. If they do not think
what
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about what
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 to do
for
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about
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 worldwide problems
such
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air
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as air
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 pollution, many people will not use
this
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 company. On top of that they allow students to learn better quality education by supporting digital devices. To explain, they contribute education to 공존하기 위해서 local society because local students and children
is
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are
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 their future.
Therefore
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, if they support
better quality
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better-quality
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edcational
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educational
education
 programs. local people have opportunities to grow their academic performances,
in
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and in
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 the future, they work for prestigious businesses. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 businesses play an important role in developing student's educational
mark
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marks
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 and preventing the
environment
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.
Submitted by garim4645 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Ensure that each paragraph serves a distinct purpose and supports your argument.
task achievement
Develop the examples in your essay with more detail. Provide clear and specific illustrations that directly support your points.
general
Improve grammatical accuracy and word choice for clarity and precision in your writing. Address small errors such as spelling and verb agreement.
task achievement
Strong introduction that clearly states your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Good conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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