The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart describes the differences between medium spending of
Japanese
Use synonyms
and
Malaysian
Use synonyms
families by five major categories which are Housing, Transport, Food, Health care and Other goods and services.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
Malaysian
Use synonyms
expenses were on Housing,
while
Linking Words
the most money used by the
Japanese
Use synonyms
was for other goods and services, at 29%. Meanwhile, both countries had less money allocated to Health care which was at 3% and 6%.
Further
Linking Words
details perspective, housing accounted for 21% of total
Japanese
Use synonyms
household spending,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Malaysian
Use synonyms
domestic housing spending percentage made up a significantly higher fraction of 13%. In terms of transport, the proportion spent by Malaysians was 10%,
while
Linking Words
the figure for the
Japanese
Use synonyms
was double in comparison. The percentage of food which was expensed by the Malaysians was 27%.
This
Linking Words
was a little over the
Japanese
Use synonyms
's food expense by 3%. As above mentioned, in comparison with health care spending from
Japanese
Use synonyms
households
Add a comma
households,
show examples
it accounted for 6%, which was 3% more than that of Malaysians. The
last
Linking Words
category was other goods and services, the
Japanese
Use synonyms
family spent 29% of their total expense,
while
Linking Words
the
Malaysian
Use synonyms
was just a little below, at 26%.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words japanese, malaysian with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: