IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think about the best way to improve road safety is to make vehicles driver take a test every year. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #road #safety #vehicles #driver #test #year
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Nowadays, road
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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 are increasing at a high pace. Sometimes they occur
due to
Linking Words
 natural causes, but more often
due to
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carelessness
Correct article usage
the carelessness
show examples
 of the driver or the lack of driving skills.
This
Linking Words
raise
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raises
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some opinions between people, like some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to make vehicle
driver
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drivers
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 Take a
test
Use synonyms
 every year. I will elaborate on it
further
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 in my upcoming paragraphs and give my personal opinion on it.
To begin
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 with,
government
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the government
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 have issued many rules and
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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 in order to improve road safety. Among
which
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 is the driving
test
Use synonyms
.
Driving
Add an article
The driving
A driving
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test
Use synonyms
 is valid for 20 years. In these 20
years
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years,
show examples
 a person goes through many things
such
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 as ageing, weakening of
eyes
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eye
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 sites , slow reflexes, and many more
such
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 physical
trates
Correct your spelling
traits
rates
 that reduce the driving skills of a person.
Moreover
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, there are some cases recorded from all over the world when
,
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apply
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 humans did not
drive
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 a vehicle for many years and later
forget
Wrong verb form
forgot
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 to
drive
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 or became very bad at it, but the thing is
although
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, they forget to
drive
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but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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they still have a
driver
Change noun form
driver's
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 license.
furthermore
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,
According to
Linking Words
 a study conducted by
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of California 45% of the
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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 that occur in Texas were
due to
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 Long validity of driving
Use synonyms
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
 as people forget to
drive
Use synonyms
 overtime. In conclusion, I partially agree with the statement that for safety driving
test
Use synonyms
 should be conducted every year as giving
driving
Correct article usage
a driving
show examples
test
Use synonyms
 every year is not practical and
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
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time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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, but it should definitely be conducted more frequently for better prevention .
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on specific examples or studies to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all your points are clearly connected and logically sequenced.
task achievement
Try to avoid repetition of ideas and focus on developing new insights.
coherence cohesion
You've clearly structured your essay with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provide a personal opinion on the idea, which strengthens your stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay is easy to follow and largely maintains clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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