IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Fossil fuels is the main energy sources in many countries. The use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. Is it a positive or negative development?

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In some nations, natural resources play a vital role,
while
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 other
countries
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are try
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are trying
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 to alter fossil fuel to eco-friendly. In my opinion,
this
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 could be seen as a significant positive improvement in expenditure and environmental problems. In
this
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 essay, I will present my opinion and give specific examples
To begin
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, in the modern era, there are more and more
type
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types
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 of renewable energies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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being produced by
human
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humans
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. Most of the main
reason
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reasons
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 that alternative resources of
energy
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 are available and cheap. Wind and solar power are unlimited and eco-friendly.
Moreover
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, the government can take full performance of alternative
energy
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 without incurring significant costs.
For instance
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,
government
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the government
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 can save a large amount of
monney
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money
 by shifting towards eco-friendly power.
On the other hand
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, there are several disadvantages of the investment in renewable sources of
energy
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.
Firstly
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, the setup costs for renewable
energy
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 systems can be expensive
with
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in
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 less developed
countries
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.
This
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mean
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means
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countries
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 must attract investors or allocate a considerable budget for installing solar panels, wind turbines, or hydroelectric power systems.
Secondly
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, the use of renewable
energy
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depend
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depends
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 greatly on the weather and geographical location of each region.
For example
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, if the sky is cloudy or there is not a steady wind, the efficiency of these alternative
energy
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 systems may decrease, making them unpredictable. In conclusion, in my point of view, I believe fossil fuels should reduce their role in
energy
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 production, and
countries
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 should encourage the use of new types of
energy
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 because if we do that, we will have saved our environment.

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coherence cohesion
Work on refining your logical structure by clearly outlining each point in separate paragraphs for better clarity.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are always supported by more detailed explanations or examples to strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which ensures that the reader understands your viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a balanced view on the use of alternative energy sources.
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