Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is an argument that if

people

Use synonyms

from different backgrounds live together, it will bring more advantages to a country than disadvantages. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement, and I will present my points in

this

Linking Words

essay. living with

people

Use synonyms

who

are came

Wrong verb form

come

show examples

from different backgrounds and cultures has important benefits for the community. It helps citizens to understand and respect each other's boundaries.

moreover

Linking Words

, it

learning

Verb problem

teaches

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to be more open and respectful to various cultures which leads them to live with peaceful life without any conflict or confrontations with others. addition to

this

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

helps the country to grow

stronger

Correct article usage

a stronger

show examples

economy

Change preposition

through

show examples

the knowledge and experience that

people

Use synonyms

brought it

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

with them.

for instance

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Singapore,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is one of the most

country

Change to a plural noun

countries

show examples

in terms of

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

diversity.

that

Capitalize word

That

show examples

makes it one of their strengths which leads them to

became

Change the form of the verb

become

show examples

a powerful and strong nation in various aspects

in addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

diverse composition of culture offers an opportunity to enjoy different festivals and celebrations

such

Linking Words

as Christmas, Eid and Passover which these occasions

gathering

Wrong verb form

gather

show examples

them to celebrate together. building

sense

Add an article

a sense

show examples

of harmony and unity in nations.

Linking Words

furthermore

Capitalize word

Furthermore

show examples

. varied food is

also

Linking Words

playing an essential part among multiple groups of individuals, it allows

people

Use synonyms

to enjoy various tastes of cuisines

such

Linking Words

as Asian and Oriental cuisine, food is a

kay

Correct your spelling

key

show examples

and one of the

sotf

Correct your spelling

soft

power to understand any culture. In conclusion, living with

people

Use synonyms

who come from diverse cultures and traditions will add more benefits to society than drawbacks.

Submitted by rahafusn on Thu Jan 02 2025

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grammar

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examples

Try to provide more specific examples to support your main points, which can strengthen your arguments.

task response

The essay presents a clear stance, agreeing wholeheartedly with the prompt, which sets a strong foundation for your argument.

coherence

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, effectively stating the main thesis and summarizing the key points.

cohesion

The essay maintains a logical flow, moving from one idea to the next in a coherent manner.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural exchange
cultural fabric
traditions and perspectives
innovation
economic growth
social cohesion
tolerance and understanding
unity in diversity
cultural clashes
language barriers
multilingualism
integration
translation services
prejudice
diversity

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Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?

Schools should prepare students for the labour market and not waste tme and resources on theoretcal knowledge. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that using a bicycle as a main form of transportation has a lot of advantages whereas others think it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.