IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In their advertisement, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their product is new in some way

#advertisement #businesses #emphasis #product
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Recently, in our contemporary era, with evolving
economical
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economic
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 landscapes. Lots of companies have insisted in their advertisements about the exclusive new features of their products, or services. The main driving
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
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 could be the inclination of the customers to be attracted drastically towards new innovation.
In addition
Linking Words
,
to
Change preposition
apply
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common satisfaction among users,
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 the new product must be better in quality than the old one. In my opinion, I would argue, that
this
Linking Words
 could be regarded as a positive trend. Owing to an opportunity given to the talented mind, in order to be enrolled in
business
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the business
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 world.
Besides
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, driving force that will
enforce
Verb problem
force
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 manufacturers to develop their industries. Obviously, companies
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
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 declare about the new virtues of their gadgets, in order to stay ahead in the challenging competitive market.
This
Linking Words
 is owing to the fact that
a
Correct article usage
apply
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newly updated merchandise
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to be better than the old previous generation. Because companies have to develop
product's
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product
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 features to be more efficient.
Moreover
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,
consistant
Correct your spelling
consistent
constant
 announcements about the new the compelling quality of any commodity,
playes
Correct your spelling
play
 a significant role to appeal customers. That's to say ,people
mostly
Add a missing verb
are mostly
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 persuaded to try the new version of
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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stuff. In spite of the absolute common sense about the tiny difference between the two generations.
For example
Linking Words
, despite
of
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apply
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the mild changes in the activities of
any
Correct determiner usage
the
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last
Linking Words
 version
cell
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of cell
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phone
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phones
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.
However
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, there are an incredible
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of population are willing to gain it. Generally, the claim of any company about
an
Correct article usage
the
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 innovative features of their goods
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 could be regarded as a positive trend. Because it will induce manufacturers to improve their industry and foster innovations.
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
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a substantial chance that given to creative people to express
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their ability through recognisable innovation.
To sum up
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,
insistence
Add an article
the insistence
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 by business owners about the unique virtues of their merchandise
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is mainly to tempt
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and enhance their profit. I think it is a positive trend
due to
Linking Words
 the causes mentioned above.
Submitted by raedjihad1978 on

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task achievement
Try to develop your main points more thoroughly with additional supporting details and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical structures to enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The topic is addressed in a structured manner, providing insights into the reasons behind advertising trends.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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