IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Technological developments leads to lots of environmental issues. Some people think a simple life style can preserve the environment. While others argue technology itself can solve it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that the improvement in
technology
Use synonyms
 may damage the environment,
while
Linking Words
 others do not agree with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 opinion that
technology
Use synonyms
 can protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 some believe that machines have
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 huge impact on cleaning the environment, I agree with those who think it has
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
show examples
 effect on
surroundings
Correct article usage
the surroundings
show examples
. On the one hand,
technology
Use synonyms
 has already become the main part of our lives. The greatest benefit of
technology
Use synonyms
 is that it is helpful to clean oceans, seas, or lakes with the
assistant
Replace the word
assistance
show examples
 of special
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. Unfortunately, these natural sources are polluted by individuals,
however
Linking Words
, the new machines that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 special
filter
Fix the agreement mistake
filters
show examples
 can help us to reduce
this
Linking Words
 pollution.
For example
Linking Words
,
Caspian
Correct article usage
the Caspian
show examples
 Sea is the biggest lake in the world, and the canalization tubes of the
neighbour
Replace the word
neighbouring
show examples
 countries go into the sea, but countries get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
help from
cleaner
Add an article
the cleaner
a cleaner
show examples
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 in order to make the sea cleaner.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that innovations
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the modern world have
undeniable
Add an article
an undeniable
show examples
 bad
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on
universe
Add an article
the universe
show examples
.
Every day
Replace the word
Everyday
show examples
 space
ships
Correct your spelling
spaceships
show examples
 are sent to
another planets
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
, and these ships may destroy the
azone
Correct your spelling
ozone
show examples
 layer of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it can lead to different problems
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 human health,
such
Linking Words
 as skin problems as the sun
wll
Correct your spelling
will
 directly touch
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
. One of the
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
researchers
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Harvard University
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 found that in 25 years, almost 40% of
Correct article usage
the azone
show examples
azone
Correct your spelling
ozone
show examples
 layer will be destroyed.
To sum up
Linking Words
, since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human made
Add a hyphen
human-made
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 is
undeniable
Add an article
an undeniable
show examples
 part of our world
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and different natural problems could be mitigated by using them, I believe that we have to be careful to save our
worlds
Fix the agreement mistake
world
show examples
 as
technology
Use synonyms
 could become the main hindrance.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction/Conclusion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively. Keep it up!
Logical Structure
Try to incorporate more coherent linking words and phrases to smoothly guide the reader from one idea to the next. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
Clear/Comprehensive Ideas
You need to develop your main points with more depth and clarity. Try to expand on your arguments with more examples and reasoning.
Relevant/Specific Examples
Make use of specific and relevant examples to better illustrate your views and arguments. This will help substantiate your points more effectively.
Introduction
Your introduction is well-structured and sets the stage for the discussion.
Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly encapsulates your viewpoint, reinforcing the key arguments made.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • environmental damage
  • sustainable living practices
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy sources
  • electric vehicles
  • recycling and waste management
  • energy efficiency
  • eco-friendly alternatives
  • immediate environmental benefits
  • long-term sustainability
  • integrating both approaches
What to do next:
Look at other essays: