Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for few months of year), for they have time to do other things. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #jobs #work #months #year #time

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It is observed that

people

Use synonyms

tend to take temporary jobs

for having

Change preposition

to have

show examples

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

time to do other things.There are both merits and demerits, and I think that the benefits are greater than the drawbacks.

To begin

Linking Words

with, all aspects are not beneficial.

Firstly

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the economic

show examples

economic

Replace the word

economy

show examples

could

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

decline.

For example

Linking Words

, if

people

Use synonyms

just

Add a missing verb

are just

show examples

keen on

part time

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

company

Add an article

the company

a company

show examples

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

be grown

Wrong verb form

grow

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

lead

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

to economic

fail

Replace the word

failure

show examples

. It has a lot of drawbacks

such

Linking Words

as countries can have

finance

Replace the word

financial

show examples

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

operate their countries.

Also

Linking Words

exchange

Correct article usage

the exchange

show examples

rate

decline

Fix the agreement mistake

declines

show examples

a lot of

citizen

Change to a plural noun

citizens

show examples

will experience massive harm when they are living.

Secondly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

could not make

career

Add an article

a career

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

.Making a career is

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

part of

life

Use synonyms

, but they did not have any career so companies could not hire them.The reason why companies

did

Wrong verb form

show examples

not hire

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

company want to earn a lot of money but if they hire non-career

people

Use synonyms

they

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

earn it.

However

Linking Words

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

are greater than the drawbacks.First of all, they can have

work

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

and balance.Nowadays

work

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

and balance

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

very important

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

so many

people

Use synonyms

want.If

work

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

and balance

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

guarantee

Wrong verb form

guaranteed

show examples

they can

work

Use synonyms

Change the word

apply

show examples

harder,

and

Correct word choice

which

show examples

lead to

earn

Change the verb form

earning

show examples

more finance.

In addition

Linking Words

, they can develop themselves by having a hobby or

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

new things. It is important to

make

Verb problem

have

show examples

hobby

Correct article usage

a hobby

show examples

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

, so if they

make

Verb problem

have

show examples

some hobby or

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

something they can be more helpful when they

work

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

they can make

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with their peer. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

temporary jobs could be

interrupt

Change the form of the verb

interrupted

show examples

by economic growth, I believe that it can be more helpful for economic growth.

Thus

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should be encouraged to

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

temporary jobs.

Submitted by yskim3064 on Thu Jan 02 2025

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Task Response

Ensure all main points are clearly introduced and fully developed. Some ideas in the essay lack examples or detailed discussion. For instance, discussing how temporary jobs can be equally beneficial for the economy could broaden the perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay could benefit from more structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should introduce a single idea and include supporting details.

Task Achievement

The writer has identified some key advantages and disadvantages of temporary jobs.

Coherence and Cohesion

An attempt has been made to use cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly'.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for few months of year), for they have time to do other things. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.

Some people think climate change has a negative impact on business, while others think that it provides more business option. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue the government should support the funds for arts, while others suggest the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In mant countries are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Unemployment is a growing problem all over the world. What are the causes of this? What could be done to help tackle this issue? To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?