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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the modern world, schools are no longer necessary because there is so much information available through internet, that they can just as well study at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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I absolutely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as
no
Correct pronoun usage
I no
show examples
 longer stay at school.
First,
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the reason we go to schools is not only to get information, but
also
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 we can learn
hanging
Change preposition
by hanging
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 out with
someone
Use synonyms
,
such
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 as teachers and friends. It's
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
true that there is a lot of information or knowledge on
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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.
However
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, I think it is more important to realize how to live with other people. The schools are the first step. Studying and playing with friends.
As a result
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, it makes students become a more social person.
Second,
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one of the most prominent things is having a conversation with others.
For example
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, when we can learn how to care for
someone
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and respect another opinion
that is
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 even opposite to my thoughts.
Also
Linking Words
, having a conversation brings the power to think of
someone
Use synonyms
's position. In my opinion, It is most crucial to value living with
someone
Use synonyms
 sociably In conclusion, going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school is not about what information or knowledge you have. It's really about learning how to harmonize with others.

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task achievement
Ensure clear development of each point; use examples or elaborations for better explanation.
coherence cohesion
Aim for consistent paragraph structure to improve flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is concise and reinforces the core message effectively.
task achievement
You clearly highlight the importance of social skills and interactions in a school setting.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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