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Writing Samples
Band 4

3---1----- The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #ground #floor #library #redeveloped #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps illustrate the comparison of the ground floor library in 2001 and its redecoration in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, several
upgraded
Replace the word
upgrades
show examples
 were made, especially in the facilities and the variety of book genres available. In 2001,
although
Linking Words
 the book sections were broader, there were only three types: self-help and history on the right side and fiction on the north side. The reading
area
Use synonyms
 was located in the centre of the room, consisting of eight small tables. Adjacent to
this
Linking Words
 was the
area
Use synonyms
 designed for newspapers and periodicals. After the upgrades in 2009, the genres of
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 increased to six, all of which were relocated to one side,
specically
Correct your spelling
specifically
especially
 on the west of the map.
While
Linking Words
librarian's
Correct article usage
the librarian's
show examples
 desk remained in the same position, directly in front of the
entrace
Correct your spelling
entrance
, the newspapers and periodicals section was replaced by an
area
Use synonyms
 for films and DVDs. The reading
area
Use synonyms
 was expanded into the former fiction section, and the tables in the centre just were replaced by four longer tables.
Additionally
Linking Words
, new facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as computers and
children's
Correct article usage
a children's
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 were introduced.
Submitted by nineband9s on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph naturally flows to the next, providing a seamless reading experience. While your logical structure is good, there are opportunities to enhance cohesion with phrases that lead ideas from one to another.
Task Achievement
Further clarify your points with precise language. While most ideas are clearly delivered, some benefit from more specific language to fully convey your findings.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are very well-framed, providing the document with a clear start and end.
Task Achievement
The main features of the library’s changes are effectively highlighted with clear examples of differences between the two plans.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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