It is a good idea for people to continue work in their old ages, if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree.

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The debate around working at
older
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an older
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age continues to spark diverse viewpoints, with proponents and opponents firmly voicing their perspectives. I strongly agree with the stance that it is good for the elderly to continue
work
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, which brings them mental and economic benefits, as substantial empirical evidence and comprehensive academic studies consistently support
this
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position.   A key reason for
this
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belief is the undeniable logic behind it, particularly given the reality that busy
work
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can promote the emotional well-being of old
people
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.
This
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viewpoint is bolstered by a broad understanding that a positive working environment can alleviate the loneliness and isolation of elder citizens who stay alone without family and friends. Numerous research findings underscore that many aged
people
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living alone in
the
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apply
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developed countries,
such
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as Canada, tend to be detached from
soceity
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society
and have mental issues, driving both public discourse and policy initiatives aimed at addressing
this
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issue. Embracing
this
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stance not only demonstrates intellectual
rigor
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rigour
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but
also
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lays the foundation for meaningful societal progress.  
Additionally
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, financial support from
continous
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continuous
work
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for the retirees is another persuasive factor that supports my view.
This
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observation is drawn from the fact that the income of elder
people
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reduces massively after retirement and
bring
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brings
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them financial constraints, a trend well-documented in various academic publications. Leading scholars emphasize that consistent
work
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and income enable elder
people
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to largely
impove
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improve
their later life quality.
For instance
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, the majority
taxi
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of taxi
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drivers in Japan are
the
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apply
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elder
citizen
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citizens
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, who have been called
as
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apply
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the
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apply
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White Hair Workers. The substantial advantages associated with
this
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perspective are
therefore
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hard to dismiss.   In conclusion, after weighing the evidence carefully, I maintain a firm belief that it is good for old
people
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continue
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to continue
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work
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for the advantage of their mental health
as well as
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consistent income.
While
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certain challenges may exist, the strength of the argument and the extensive supporting evidence convincingly justify my position.
Submitted by justvivianliu on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that each paragraph logically transitions to the next to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, with relevant reasons and examples. To improve, consider injecting more specific examples and real-world implications in your arguments.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic with a thorough exploration of mental and economic benefits for the elderly who work.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with references to studies and real-world examples, such as the mention of "White Hair Workers" in Japan.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument and reinforces the writer's stance, reflecting a coherent ending to the essay.
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