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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is good for spending money on finding life on other planets, while others believe it is a waste and governments should focus on problems on the earth. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#people #money #life #planets #waste #governments #focus #earth
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Some people argue that it is beneficial
for investing
Change preposition
to invest
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 finding
life
Use synonyms
 on
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
planets
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that it is a waste of
money
Use synonyms
, and
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 should focus on issues on the
earth
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 finding
life
Use synonyms
 on other
planets
Use synonyms
 increases the
possibility
Use synonyms
 of finding a new
place
Use synonyms
 to live, I personally believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 should spend
money
Use synonyms
 to solve the problems of the
earth
Use synonyms
 because there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a fewer
possibility
Use synonyms
 to find
life
Use synonyms
 on other
planets
Use synonyms
, and
earth
Use synonyms
 is the only
place
Use synonyms
 for us to live. If the
government
Use synonyms
 invests
money
Use synonyms
 to find
life
Use synonyms
 on other
planets
Use synonyms
, it increases the
possibility
Use synonyms
to find
Change preposition
of finding
show examples
 another
place
Use synonyms
 to live. If one day, it becomes impossible to survive
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
earth
Use synonyms
 , human civilization will have another alternative
place
Use synonyms
 to live.
Therefore
Linking Words
, investing a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
 in searching
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
for life
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
planets
Use synonyms
 is necessary.
For instance
Linking Words
, in recent times, NASA has found water
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Mars, and there is a
possibility
Use synonyms
 to find
life
Use synonyms
 on Mars.
Hence
Linking Words
, scientists of NASA
considers
Correct subject-verb agreement
consider
show examples
 that in the past there were lives on the mars.
However
Linking Words
, I think that investing a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
 to find
life
Use synonyms
 on other
planets
Use synonyms
 is not always fruitful because there is a
fewer
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
possibility
Use synonyms
 of finding
life
Use synonyms
 on other
planets
Use synonyms
. The
earth
Use synonyms
 is the only
place
Use synonyms
 to live for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, and there are a lot of problems on the
earth
Use synonyms
. Many countries
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
earth
Use synonyms
 have problems
such
Linking Words
 as deforestation, environmental pollution, pandemic, poverty, overpopulation and economic downfall. To address these issues, these countries require a lot of
money
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. Governments of these countries should carefully allocate and utilize
money
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 to address all these issues and ensure the safety and
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 of humanity.
For instance
Linking Words
, Russia has recently allocated around 1 billion dollars to address deforestation, which will help to solve environmental pollution and enhance the well-being of its citizens. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 finding new
life
Use synonyms
 on other
planets
Use synonyms
 increases the likelihood
to find
Change preposition
of finding
show examples
 another
place
Use synonyms
 to live, I personally believe that it is a waste of
money
Use synonyms
, and the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest
money
Use synonyms
 to protect
this
Linking Words
earth
Use synonyms
 because it is the only
place
Use synonyms
 to live.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and fluidity in transitions between paragraphs. Some arguments need smoother connections.
task achievement
Provide more varied examples to strengthen points, and ensure that examples directly support the argument presented in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the topic and are mostly well-supported with examples.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and supports it with reasoned arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Space exploration
  • Extraterrestrial life
  • Technological advancements
  • Investment in the future
  • Immediate problems
  • Poverty alleviation
  • Healthcare system
  • Educational resources
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Sustainable investments
  • Funding allocation
  • Interplanetary research
  • Cosmic curiosity
  • Global challenges
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