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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.

#influence #media #lives #society
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Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
experienced
Verb problem
have
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difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
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to escape
Change the verb form
escaping
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 the influence of the
media
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 on their
lives
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. There are both merits and demerits, and I think that the drawbacks are greater
that
Correct your spelling
than
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 the benefits.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are several benefits
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our
lives
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we can archive new information
fast
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quickly
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 and easily.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past
people
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cannot
Wrong verb form
could not
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 know about recent news, but these days lot of
people
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 have their devices to search
news
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for news
show examples
.
Its
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It's
It is
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 more comfortable and faster than
the
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in the
show examples
 past.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they can make
relationship
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relationships
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 easily.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
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 use
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
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 or
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
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for
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to
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 post
their
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about their
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lives
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 so if someone
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 hobby or interest they can connect easily by having a chat.
However
Linking Words
, not all aspects are beneficial.First of all, there are many
misinformation
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of misinformation
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on
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in
show examples
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
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.
Lot
Change the article
A lot
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 of
reporter
Change to a plural noun
reporters
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 want to
people
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 click their
article
Fix the agreement mistake
articles
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 so they write misinformation or
using
Wrong verb form
use
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interest
Replace the word
interesting
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 titles for
click
Fix the agreement mistake
clicks
show examples
. If
people
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 click
article
Fix the agreement mistake
articles
show examples
 and believe misinformation, it can lead to chaos in society.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
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 can be addicted
by
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to
show examples
media
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. If
people
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addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
show examples
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
media
Use synonyms
 they
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not do their own purpose, and it can lead to massive damage
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their company or their
lives
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are a lot of benefits when we use
media
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. I opine that we should step back on
media
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 or our
lives
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, we should be
disencouraged
Correct your spelling
discouraged
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 using
media
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yskim3064 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure your discussion covers both advantages and disadvantages with a more balanced exploration, supporting each with clear examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph logically follows the previous one.
language
Review sentence structure and grammar to increase clarity and reduce errors, such as ensuring subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that structure your essay well, contributing to a strong overall organization.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a media-rich society.
task achievement
Some relevant real-world examples are included to support your points, which help illustrate your arguments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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