IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

5.Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year. It can make them perform better in their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In a nutmeg, I agree with the affirmation, because the staffs holiday
are
Change the verb form
is
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occassion
Correct your spelling
occasion
 complacence to the employees, and their family's. My opinion is, the holidays
important
Add a missing verb
are important
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, not just
the
Change preposition
for the
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 staff,
for
Correct word choice
but for
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 their families as well.
That
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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effect
Correct your spelling
affects
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the
employees
Change noun form
employee's
employees'
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work
Use synonyms
 quality
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because if they can spend more time with their families, they will be more satisfied and calm
in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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work
Use synonyms
, which is so helpful for everybody. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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happy family time makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 better.
However
Linking Words
 not just the employees
enjoy
Correct pronoun usage
who enjoy
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 the holiday
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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single workers enjoy
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
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 well. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 have enough time to relax, do their hobbies, or
make
Verb problem
have
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 adventures, they can release
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unnecessary feelings,
what
Correct word choice
that
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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just set
back
Correct pronoun usage
them back
show examples
 in
work
Use synonyms
. First of all, the most important thing is the mental
healt
Correct your spelling
health
. It doesn't matter how
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
we get it, but we need it. If we have enough holiday, we can enjoy life, take a breath and
clense
Correct your spelling
cleanse
 our soul. In
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 case, we will be strong enough to
work
Use synonyms
 harder and better.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction provides a clear overview of your position and plans for the essay.
logical structure
Organize your main points logically and help the reader follow your argument effectively.
supported main points
Support your main ideas with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion present
You've made a clear attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which provides a basic organization.
complete response
You address different perspectives, which shows consideration of various viewpoints.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are generally easy to follow, with distinct sections addressing different aspects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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