IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below illustrates the recycling process of discarded glass bottles. Provide a summary of the information by mentioning the main features and make appropriate comparisons wherever relevant.

The diagram below illustrates the recycling process of discarded glass bottles. Provide a summary of the information by mentioning the main features and make appropriate comparisons wherever relevant.
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The diagram provides information about how discarded
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
recycle
Wrong verb form
are recycled
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 3 stages of recycling
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
,
including
Change preposition
apply
show examples
collection, purification and forming.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the used
bottles
Use synonyms
collected
Add a missing verb
are collected
show examples
 into a container
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
enter
Wrong verb form
entered
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the next step
purification
Change preposition
of purification
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 step, the unnecessary materials are
removing
Wrong verb form
removed
show examples
 from the
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 and
left
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the clean materials,
then
Linking Words
 the pure
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 can be
proceed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
cut the
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 using
optoelectronic
Correct article usage
an optoelectronic
show examples
 system.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the material
insert
Change the verb form
inserts
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
vessel
Add an article
the vessel
a vessel
show examples
 to continue
process
Add an article
the process
show examples
 of cycling
Correct word choice
and caled
show examples
caled
Correct your spelling
called
 cullet melting to make
material
Correct article usage
the material
show examples
 elaborate.
Finally
Linking Words
, the materials
ready
Add a missing verb
are ready
show examples
 to shape again
accordingly
Linking Words
. Now, the
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
ready
Add a missing verb
are ready
show examples
 to use as a new product.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words glass, bottles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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