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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit

The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit
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The chart illustrates the data about
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to and from the
UK
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 about the most famous nations for
UK
Use synonyms
residents
Use synonyms
 to visit.
Although
Linking Words
, the
visits
Correct quantifier usage
number of visits
show examples
 to the
UK
Use synonyms
 by overseas
residents
Use synonyms
 was 10 to 25
million
Use synonyms
 from 1979 to 1999.
However
Linking Words
, the
visits
Correct quantifier usage
number of visits
show examples
 abroad by
UK
Use synonyms
residents
Use synonyms
 was 11 to 52
million
Use synonyms
 from 1979 to 1999.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 famous nations visited by
UK
Use synonyms
nationalists
Use synonyms
 in 1999 was
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
6
Change preposition
of 6
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the
nationalists
Use synonyms
 visited
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
turkey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
2
million
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the
Use synonyms
residents
Correct quantifier usage
number of residents
show examples
visited
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Greece was approximately 3
million
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
residents
Correct quantifier usage
number of residents
show examples
visited
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
show examples
 the USA
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 4
million
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, the
Use synonyms
residents
Correct quantifier usage
number of residents
show examples
visited
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
show examples
 Spain was 9
million
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
nationalists
Use synonyms
visited
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 more than 10
million
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the above chart and graph
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
Use synonyms
uk
Correct your spelling
UK
residents
Use synonyms
visits
Correct subject-verb agreement
visit
show examples
 abroad and how many overseas
visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
As well as
Linking Words
 the most
well know
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
 countries visited by
UK
Use synonyms
nationalists
Use synonyms
 in 1999

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, residents, million, nationalists with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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