Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that young people must learn new things occasionally.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that they must have
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
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time
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education until they are at least 18 years old, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it.
i
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I
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tend to believe that
chidern
Correct your spelling
children
have to learn
as well as
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they should have some free
hour
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hours
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to play .
To begin
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with, kids education is significantly important because it is their
futuer
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future
.
In other words
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, when we let them learn we can improve their skills.
In addition
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, when our kids are well
knowledgable
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knowledgeable
show examples
it could help them in their own lives .
For example
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, when they are at their school their teacher might
asks
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ask
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them a random question out of the subject they will be able to answer
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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comfortably. Another point to consider
,
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apply
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is when we let them study so much despite the positive impact on them
at
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it
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also
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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impact on their mental health. It is
also
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possible to say that they are going to be sad and bored .
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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we must let them play as well because it is important to balance between playing and studying.
For instance
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, we can let them play for 2 hours a day and study for about 4 hours . In conclusion, despite people having different views , I
Correct your spelling
believe
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belive
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believe
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that we can let them study
as well as
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we can let them play because when we educate them all the
time
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we are making them less happy and if we let them have a lot of free
time
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we are
runing
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running
ruining
their live so we must do both at the
sam
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same
show examples
time
Use synonyms
Submitted by daliahmohsn9 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position and outlines your main points.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more depth and detail to enhance clarity and comprehension.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling to improve overall writing quality.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by considering both the necessity of education and the importance of leisure for young people.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your argument.
task achievement
You used examples to illustrate your points, helping to clarify your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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