IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

#numbers #students #study #trend #benefit #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the
last
Linking Words
 decade, the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 opted to
learning
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
 overseas, impacting their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 in both positive and negative ways.
While
Linking Words
 studying abroad offers opportunities for
international
Add an article
the international
show examples
 job market and enhances communication skills, it may have negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 through financial issues and psychological impacts. Ultimately, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. I will explain both sides throughout the essay. The most significant advantage of studying abroad is getting familiar with new cultures.
This
Linking Words
 major transformation will open a new horizon to newcomers and enhance their social interactions and self-awareness. Educational setting
along with
Linking Words
 international
students
Use synonyms
 foster their communication skills and improve their confidence. learning another language might double job opportunities.
As statistics
Correct word choice
Statistics
show examples
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that multilingual people are more likely to find a well-paid job
in contrast
Linking Words
 with others.
Although
Linking Words
 there are cost-effective solutions through funds and
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
,
leaving
Verb problem
living
show examples
 in another country is almost expensive. Accommodation and tuition fees pose an extra burden on families.
Students
Use synonyms
 need to manage their
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 or work during their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 to prevent any possible problems. Living in shared houses
also
Linking Words
 might mitigate extra expenses, but these obstacles for dependent individuals might pose a problem, make them homesick and have a
long
Correct word choice
long-term
show examples
 emotional impact on
students
Use synonyms
, my cousin abandoned his
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 after the first year of studying abroad as he got homesick. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there are some detrimental effects on
educating
Replace the word
education
show examples
 in other countries, numerous
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 first priority is to study in more developed countries. They are ready to face the consequences of living abroad as they know how much
this
Linking Words
 substantial step will alter their life.
Submitted by megalodon1363 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion in your essay, try using more varied linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. Additionally, providing a clearer separation between your points will enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
Enhance task achievement by elaborating on your arguments in greater depth, ensuring each point is thoroughly explored and supported by examples or explanations.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas by practicing organizing your thoughts more clearly and using precise vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your arguments, which strengthens its structure.
task achievement
You successfully included examples, such as mentioning your cousin, to support your points, bringing more relevance and relatability to your discussion.
task achievement
Your discussion addresses both the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad, covering different aspects and perspectives on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: