IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern technology is being used more and more in different aspects of our live, such as education. Do the advantages of using technology as an educational tool outweigh its disadvantages?

#technology #aspects #education #tool
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The use of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cutting-edge technology by the
education
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 industry is surging.
Although
Linking Words
 it has
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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like
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as
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it serves
Wrong verb form
serving
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 as a virtual helping hand to
students
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but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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its
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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such
Linking Words
 as
it is
Verb problem
apply
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lowering human intelligence should be not overlooked. Both the advantages and disadvantages of using the latest gadgets in
the
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education
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 are elaborated in
further
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 paragraphs. Several benefits can be considered by utilizing the power of technology in
the
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apply
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learning. The predominant reason is that it is a helping hand for learners, as it empowers them to visualize whatever
that
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apply
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they are learning immediately with 2D or 3D animation
as well as
Linking Words
 the internet is a significant source of information for most of the topics.
For example
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, if
students
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 are learning about how the car engine
work
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works
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then
Linking Words
 they can see the 3D animation of it and can
also
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 see all the different components of it.
In addition
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, if someone wants to learn more about a
perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
 function of one part
then
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 they can search
it
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for it
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 on the internet.
However
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,
drawbacks
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the drawbacks
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 of
this
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 tech are
also
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 worth considering. The primary negative impact is on
the
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apply
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human intelligence
due to
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 increasing reliance on these tools
the
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apply
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human intelligence is saturating. Because
students
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does
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do
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 not try to think
anything
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of anything
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 of their own first before searching
any
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for any
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 challenge that they are trying to solve on the internet.
Such
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 as
,
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apply
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 tools like ChatGPT, Microsoft Copilot, and Siri can provide any information in any
formate
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format
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 that
students
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 ask which
is
Verb problem
does
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 not
making
Wrong verb form
make
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 learners smart but
instead
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reducing
Wrong verb form
reduces
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 their thinking capabilities.
To conclude
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, the technology of the 21st century is pioneering in almost all aspects of our life
such
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 as
education
Use synonyms
 and
also
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 there is a benefit like it helps
students
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 as an online tutor.
However
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, the use of tech in
education
Use synonyms
 should be strictly monitored as it is making
students
Use synonyms
lasy
Correct your spelling
lazy
.
Submitted by ruchin27 on

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task achievement
The essay should have a clear argument and maintain focus throughout. Your main points are clear, but consider integrating examples more closely with your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While there is a structure present, the transitions between different sections could be smoother to help with flow. Use linking words more consistently to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Although your introduction and conclusion are included, try to reinforce your main argument more strongly in the conclusion for greater impact.
task achievement
You present both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view.
task achievement
Main ideas are supported with examples, such as the use of 3D animations to explain complex topics.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a clear structure of introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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