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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph shows the proportion of total exports of clothing in 4 countries in 2000 and 2014.

The line graph shows the proportion of total exports of clothing in 4 countries in 2000 and 2014.
The line graph provides data about the export volume of clothing in four countries in the
period
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 of
time
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 between 2000 and 2014.


Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of exportation of clothing decreased over the given
period
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 of
time
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,
while
Linking Words
China
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 spreads, it rose. At the start of the
period
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, the European Union was the most widespread exporter of clothing.
China
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 and the European Union were the most significant exporters in the middle of the
period
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, by the end,
China
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 was the most massive exporter.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, by the 2000s European Union began to drop steadily starting at around 32, decreasing continually In the next years,
this
Linking Words
 unit reached 23 in 2010 and slightly dropped to 21 by 2014.
While
Linking Words
 Asia started with 30 in 2000, there was a rapid decrease in 2002 it fell to approximately 18. There can be seen a gradual increase in export volume in Asia
,
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apply
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 when it has reached 20 by 2014. 

At the same
time
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,
China
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 in 2000 was only 14, and in 2014 Asia reached
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak of around 36.
Although
Linking Words
 the USA stayed unchanged in the
period
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 of
time
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 between 2000 and 2002, clothing export
also
Linking Words
 fluctuated till 2010 when they gradually dropped to nearly 6 in 2014

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, time, china with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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