Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, it is believed by some folks that pupils of educational
institute
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
utilize
most of their time Verb problem
spend
in
reading; few of them say that Change preposition
apply
thay
should have to do other Correct your spelling
they
activities
Use synonyms
such
as recreational Linking Words
activities
. If questioned, I bolster Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
this
notion to a major extent. My justification is explained Linking Words
further
.
There are a plethora of compelling reasons for Linking Words
this
situation. The most prominent one is physical well-being. To elaborate Linking Words
further
, if the learner Linking Words
will spend
Wrong verb form
spends
their
most of the in playing Correct pronoun usage
apply
instead
of reading, it will be helpful for enhancing their physical ability as Linking Words
sedentary
lifestyle is not good for the heart. Correct article usage
a sedentary
For example
, some children who Linking Words
likes
to involve in sports will alleviate the risk of heart Change the verb form
like
diseses
and obesity.
Correct your spelling
disease
diseases
Furthermore
, another striking reason is good mental health. To add to Linking Words
this
, if the educatee will maintain Linking Words
balance
between study and leisure Add an article
a balance
the balance
activities
, that would not only be beneficial for their phys
Use synonyms
cial
health but Correct your spelling
social
also
for their mental health. One good illustration is that if Linking Words
any
toddlers Correct quantifier usage
apply
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
likes
to focus on Change the verb form
like
eduaction
, it makes them mentally fragile and after Correct your spelling
education
that
it will be hard for them to remember Add a comma
that,
about
Change preposition
apply
thier
book work. Correct your spelling
their
Therefore
, Linking Words
while
doing educational work, fun Linking Words
activities
Use synonyms
such
as playing with friends Linking Words
makes
them more Change the verb form
make
relax
and jubilant.
Wrong verb form
relaxed
Nonetheless
, I shall not overlook the Linking Words
the
opposite side, too. Remove the redundancy
apply
Initially
, doing both Linking Words
activities
can easily distract from the Use synonyms
curriculam
, which can impact Correct your spelling
curriculum
on
their result and it will create strenuous Change preposition
apply
situation
. Fix the agreement mistake
situations
Hence
, they should have to concentrate on only one thing at a time in order to get better marks.
Linking Words
To conclude
, it can be Linking Words
finally
commented that despite focusing on both can create problems, my justification convinces that Linking Words
balance
between learning and playing might be fruitful for mental and physical well-being, Indeed.Correct article usage
a balance
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, to improve logical flow.
Task Response
Work on presenting clear, comprehensive ideas within each paragraph. Focus on making your main points easy to identify for the reader.
Task Response
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments and enhance the relevance of the points you make.
Language
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and word choice, which can slightly impact clarity of your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument, clearly indicating the direction of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion concisely wraps up the essay, summarizing your main points and reiterating your stance.
Task Response
You address opposing viewpoints, which strengthens the depth of your argument and demonstrates critical thinking.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.