IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays there is a trend that media focuses on problems and emergencies rather than positive developments. Some people think that it is harmful to individual and societies. To what extent do you agree ?

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Nowadays, it is a common trend that news agencies most of the times focus on negative
events
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 rather than
focusing
Verb problem
apply
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on positive happenings in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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, which ultimately is not fruitful for the masses and
country
Correct article usage
the country
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. In my viewpoint, I completely agree with
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this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 notion that
media
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 houses should not broadcast too many negative reports and reasons to support my stance are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, those who are in favour of these practices assert that by showing bulletins with problems and emergencies
media
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 is actually spreading awareness among the commoners. In fact, these negative
events
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 prepare the
society
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 for any possible future
mishapps
Correct your spelling
mishaps
.
For example
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, during the Pandemic
this
Linking Words
 trend prepared
people
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 to be more cautious in dealing with others, in order to save themselves from the infection.
Thus
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, talking about
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
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events
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 in
media
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 is not bad for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals and
society
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.
On the other hand
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, those who are against
this
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 commonly followed practice opine that by listening to the negative publicity human
psychy
Correct your spelling
psychology
 is becoming negative. As a matter of fact, by hearing too much of problems,
people
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 start manifesting negative thoughts, which eventually
is affecting
Wrong verb form
affect
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 their psychology. To illustrate,
in
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during
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 the Pandemic, a few
people
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 died without any health issues, but they heard too
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 negative
feedbacks
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feedback
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 through mass
media
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.
Therefore
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, it is not justified to focus too much on the problems.
Furthermore
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, practices like these create a sense of disbelief among the
people
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for
Change preposition
in
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 the system. Indeed, it is seen,
when
Correct word choice
that when
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 an individual
hear
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hears
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 about negative
events
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 and emergencies
such
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 as murders,
robbery
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robberies
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 etc. they usually start thinking that the rulers are
unefficient
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inefficient
 and they are doing nothing to control the situation.
Hence
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, too much of
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 influx is harming our
society
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's prosperity. In conclusion,
nonetheless
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, talking about emergencies
prepare
Correct subject-verb agreement
prepares
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 the citizens for the worst that could happen in future but largely, it
is making
Wrong verb form
makes
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people
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's thoughts process
negative
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negatively
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 and
creating
Wrong verb form
creates
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 a sense of disbelief among them.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure to better connect arguments within paragraphs for a smoother flow of ideas, and improve transitions between opposing viewpoints and your conclusion.
task achievement
Include more comprehensive explanations and examples to reinforce your points.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively provide an overview and a closing of your essay.
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