IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

#city #traffic #congestion
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Nowadays, in our fast-paced world, people use private
cars
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 as a means of
transportation
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 to save their time and energy.
This
Linking Words
 widespread usage of vehicles has
made
Verb problem
caused
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 a significant problem called
traffic
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 congestion or
traffic
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 jam. Almost every conurbation throughout the world faces
this
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 issue.
This
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 essay will outline some practical solutions to deal with
this
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 huge problem through stricter
policy
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 and budget allocation on infrastructures.
Firstly
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, with population growth, metropolitans extend far beyond expectations. The lack of suitable infrastructure is an obstacle
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
traffic
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 management. inadequate road network and insufficient parking facilities are testament to the
policy
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 which didn’t consider these issues. Meanwhile,
low
Correct article usage
the low
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 quality of the
transportation
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 system is another factor residents prefer private
cars
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 which leads a heavy
traffic
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 nearly in most parts of the cities. A typical example would be the buses that are not on time and
metro
Correct article usage
the metro
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 and tram that are not available in some
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples
. There are several measures that could be taken to identify the severity of
this
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 issue. Stricter
policy
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 should be taken to manage heavy
traffic
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. These could be congestion charges or restricted access to
city
Add an article
the city
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center
Change the spelling
centre
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 during peak hours.
For example
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, in our capital city people are not allowed to drive in
city
Add an article
the city
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center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 between 7 A.M to 5 P.M with their own
cars
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, in order to reduce
traffic
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 and pollution. Another effective way to deal with
this
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 problem is allocating more budget to expand public
transportation
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. An effective
transportation
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 system is a proper alternative for
cars
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.
According to
Linking Words
 statistics in developed countries more people tend to use
tram
Fix the agreement mistake
trams
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 or buses
instead
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 of their own
cars
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. In conclusion, stricter
policy
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 is a key factor
to mitigate
Change preposition
in mitigating
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traffic
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 congestion throughout the world,
moreover
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, initiative measures should be taken to improve infrastructure which means more budget for the public
transportation
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 system.
Submitted by megalodon1363 on

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task achievement
In terms of task response, the essay could explore more causes of traffic congestion, such as economic growth or urbanization, to provide a fuller picture.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly with clear transitions. Although the essay is generally well-organized, some transitions between ideas may enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the problem and solutions effectively.
task achievement
Strong examples are given to support the solutions, such as the restricted city center access during peak hours and budget allocation for public transportation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban population
  • public transportation
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • economic strength
  • consumerism
  • car ownership
  • commuting
  • peak hours
  • public transit
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing
  • remote work
  • flexible working hours
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion charges
  • traffic management systems
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