It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, one idea gaining popularity in society
that
it is momentous for individuals to take Add a missing verb
is that
risks
, both in their Use synonyms
carriers
and their personal lives. In my opinion, Correct your spelling
careers
take
a risk and Wrong verb form
taking
make
Wrong verb form
making
a
crucial Correct article usage
apply
decissions
have a vital role in Correct your spelling
decisions
people
’s future with few drawbacks.
On the one hand, these Use synonyms
risks
Use synonyms
are depend
on Change the verb form
depend
individuals
goals. Fix the agreement mistake
individual
For instance
, if Linking Words
people
want to gain Use synonyms
reputation
and Correct article usage
a reputation
weilth
in their life, there is no doubt they must take a huge risk to Correct your spelling
wealth
success
. Replace the word
succeed
Morever
, history books show that a Correct your spelling
Moreover
noticable
proportion of Correct your spelling
noticeable
scientist
took crucial Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
risk
to improve their life Fix the agreement mistake
risks
standart
and their Correct your spelling
standards
carrier
Correct your spelling
careers
such
as Marie Curie. She Linking Words
was
found a radioactive stone and she tried to use Unnecessary verb
apply
this
stone in order to help Linking Words
people
, despite Use synonyms
dangerous
Add an article
the dangerous
effect
of Fix the agreement mistake
effects
this
stone Linking Words
to
Change preposition
on
her self
. Correct your spelling
herself
As a consequence
, recently she hasLinking Words
a
legacy.
Add a missing verb
had a
On the other hand
, Linking Words
like
mentioned before big Correct word choice
as
risks
have Use synonyms
epually
result. Namely, if Correct your spelling
equally
people
do not have Use synonyms
a
enough information Remove the article
apply
to
what they are sacriface Change preposition
about
to
Change preposition
for as
result
of Correct article usage
a result
Linking Words
this
decisions, they may lose their Correct determiner usage
these
carriere
and family connections. Correct your spelling
career
In addition
, Linking Words
researh
Correct your spelling
research
show
that a Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
noticiable
numerous Correct your spelling
noticeable
people
are losing their Use synonyms
finanncial
Correct your spelling
financial
profit
to dream of Fix the agreement mistake
profits
weilth
. Correct your spelling
wealth
Furthermore
, Linking Words
as a result
of Linking Words
this
Linking Words
lose
, it will Replace the word
loss
auotomaticly
Correct your spelling
automatically
effecting
their family life and future.Change the verb form
effect
be effecting
Therefore
, Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
shoul
think clearly and all the Correct your spelling
should
detail
about their Fix the agreement mistake
details
choose
.
Replace the word
choice
To conclude
, taking Linking Words
risks
Use synonyms
are
very important to Change the verb form
is
people
’s Use synonyms
carrier
and their personal lives, Correct your spelling
careers
while
there Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
few
disadvantages Correct article usage
a few
of take
Change preposition
to taking
a huge
Correct the article-noun agreement
huge risks
a huge risk
risks
in their decisions.Use synonyms
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Structure & Flow
Your essay has clear sections, but the logical connections between paragraphs and ideas could be improved. Try to use more linking words and phrases to enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.
Clarity & Explanation
Your ideas are somewhat clear but could be stated more comprehensively. Ensure that all your arguments are fully explained and supported by relevant examples.
Introduction
You have a clear introduction that outlines your position on the topic.
Examples & Illustration
You attempted to support your main points with historical examples, which adds depth to your argument.