IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people say that human society has developed into a “throw-away” society, which is filled with plastic bags and rubbish. What are the causes and solutions?

#people #society #“throw-away” #plastic #bags #rubbish
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Numerous individuals say that human
society
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 has
growing
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grown
show examples
 into a "throw-away"
society
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, which is filled with
plastic
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 accessories and rubbish .
This
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 essay will explore how
unnecessary
Correct article usage
the unnecessary
show examples
use
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic
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 and limited
baskets
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 can be considered as the leading causes of
this
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 concern, and how through the replacement of
plastic
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 and arrangement of more
baskets
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,
this
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 problem can be curtailed. There are multiple causes of throw-away
society
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 .
Firstly
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, unlimited
use
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 of
plastic
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 can be labelled as the root cause of
this
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 problem.
As nowadays
Correct word choice
Nowadays
show examples
plastic
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 usually used in many circumstances which is
also
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 harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people.
For example
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,the frequent
use
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastics
are
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is
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 mostly in
the
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apply
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factories and restaurants.in
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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 the foods are packed in
plastic
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 bags and in industries the drinks are made in
plastic
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 bottles.
Thus
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,
uncountable
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the uncountable
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use
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic
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 can be considered
as
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apply
show examples
the fueling force behind
this
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 issue.
Secondly
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, apart from
Use synonyms
use
Add an article
the use
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 of
plastic
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 ,
unavailability
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the unavailability
show examples
 of
baskets
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 is
also
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 a major contributing factor
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
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 menace.
As governments
Correct word choice
Governments
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not paying attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
baskets
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 in every town of the state.
For instance
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,Karachi
the
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a
show examples
 city
of
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in
show examples
 Pakistan is
most
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the most
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 dirty and polluted city because of
large
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the large
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 population and lack of rubbish
baskets
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,the
society
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 become so dirty.
Hence
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,
unavailability
Correct article usage
the unavailability
show examples
 of
baskets
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 can be considered as the breeding ground of
this
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 concern.
However
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, there are certain viable measures, that can be taken to curb throw-away societies. The primary solution I believe would be replacing the
plastic
Use synonyms
 . As there should be other materials
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use
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
instead
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 of plastics.
Furthermore
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,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should arrange more
baskets
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 and there should be
the
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apply
show examples
baskets
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 in every town of the city can
also
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 be an effective solution. To
sum-up
Correct your spelling
sum up
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, even though
unnecessary
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the unnecessary
show examples
use
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastics and limited
baskets
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 are extremely widespread in many societies,
but
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apply
show examples
I believe through
replacement
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the replacement
show examples
 of
plastic
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 and
arrangement
Correct article usage
the arrangement
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 more
baskets
Use synonyms
 ,
this
Linking Words
 problem can be tackled.
Submitted by nidarif855 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides a basic discussion of causes and solutions. However, ensure that the ideas presented are clear and more comprehensively developed to enhance the response.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas. Use linking words and phrases more effectively.
task achievement
Add specific examples or evidence to support the main points more thoroughly. This will strengthen the argument and demonstrate relevance.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both causes and solutions, showing you are addressing the full scope of the question.
coherence cohesion
Use of phrases like 'For example' and 'Hence' indicates attempts at providing examples and logical flow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • throw-away society
  • plastic bags and rubbish
  • consumerism
  • materialistic culture
  • lack of awareness
  • recycling
  • waste management
  • insufficient regulations
  • product packaging
  • waste disposal
  • sustainable
  • eco-friendly
  • lifestyles
  • raising awareness
  • waste reduction
  • stricter regulations
What to do next:
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