Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to and work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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The main reason
of
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for
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learning a new
language
Use synonyms
is considered
for
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apply
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the purpose of
traveling
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travelling
show examples
or working.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
learn it for exploration,I believe they are not fewer who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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learning for their personal growth. Learning a
language
Use synonyms
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
optimal choice to travel and work effectively.When someone is good at
language
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they can easily get access to the culture of the country and there is a high rate of demand in the workplace.
For example
Linking Words
,it makes travelling more enjoyable and helps improve communication skills with locals.
In addition
Linking Words
,for multilingual workers companies are ready and offer
more
Change the word
apply
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higher wages
who
Correct word choice
and
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are simultaneously able to negotiate business plans with foreigners.
Therefore
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,
people
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mostly learn a new
language
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due to
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the high demand in the working sphere
as well as
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interacting with other
people
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from other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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easily.
On the other hand
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,there are
people
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who learn a foreign
language
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due to
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their personal growth.Since
while
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learning it they will be able to improve their cognitive skills, expand their horizon and enhance their memory.Learning a new
language
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leads to
fulfill
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fulfilling
show examples
their personal interests and providing a sense of achievement.
Thus
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,
people
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also
Linking Words
learn a foreign
language
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by taking into account their personal growth and interests. In conclusion,
while
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people
Use synonyms
who are learning a
language
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for the purpose of
traveling
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travelling
show examples
and working is being expanded,In my view,individuals doing it not reluctantly are higher
on
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in
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society.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports an element of the task for improved coherence and flow.
task achievement
Try to include a wider range of specific examples to demonstrate your understanding and to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing more precise topic sentences and linking words to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and offers a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
Structured introduction and conclusion were included, fulfilling basic format expectations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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