IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Question: Big cities living is causing bad impact on public health. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people assume that urban area
residence
Replace the word
residents
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a negative impact on the
health
Use synonyms
 of the people. I completely agree with the given statement as the population
levels
Use synonyms
 are quite high in the major
areas
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, big
cities
Use synonyms
 are expensive as compared to the smaller ones which is causing bad effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss some major drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 shift with some relevant examples. To commence with, metropolitan
areas
Use synonyms
 have high pollution
levels
Use synonyms
 as compared to the
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
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 and there are many reasons for
this
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, big
cities
Use synonyms
 have more population because of attractive career opportunities, and advanced facilities which are enhancing the vehicles and these private transits causing the air
as well as
Linking Words
 the noise pollution.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is badly
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
 the air quality which is causing many breathing issues in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans and the increased noise
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
impairment in hearing.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent study
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 York University found that big
cities
Use synonyms
 have more asthma cases as compared to village
areas
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, urban
areas
Use synonyms
 are more expensive and
this
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 causing negative impacts on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 has to work long hours to manage all the expenses for a healthy lifestyle in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, and
this
Linking Words
 is causing excessive stress to the brain and the body.
Besides
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 rise in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress
levels
Use synonyms
 is creating many mental
health
Use synonyms
 issues
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 poor physical exercises are enhancing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
posture problems.
For instance
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
recent research
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 WHO found that 73%
cases
Change preposition
of cases
show examples
 of
heartattacks
Correct your spelling
heart attacks
 are coming from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, a group of people believe that larger
areas
Use synonyms
living is causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
 worse effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with the given notion as increased population will give rise to pollution
levels
Use synonyms
 which are directly affecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
respiratory and ear
health
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, the lifestyle of big
cities
Use synonyms
 is not cheap, so
this
Linking Words
 is increasing the stress
levels
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Consider varying sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors, like subject-verb agreement, to ensure clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear stance on the issue with a coherent introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Evidence and examples are appropriately used to support the main points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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