A bar graph may be static with data coming from one point in time for this graph compare the difference between leisure activities favourable by boys and girls in Canada

A bar graph may be static with data coming from one point in time for this graph compare the difference between leisure activities favourable by boys and girls in Canada
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The bar graph illustrates the four different activities that were performed by Canadian
boys
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and
girls
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in their leisure time.
Overall
Linking Words
, when considering all the figures,
it is clear that
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the maximum proportion of
boys
Use synonyms
preferred to go shopping, on the other side,
girls
Use synonyms
liked to listen to music most in their free time. At the onset, it was evident that just over a quarter of
boys
Use synonyms
liked to play sports.
However
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, in computer games, the ratio was a dramatic change which accounted for nearly 20%.
In contrast
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, approximately a fifth proportion of males love to listen to music.
Moreover
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, the largest ratio of
boys
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preferred to go shopping which generated almost 35%. Looking at
further
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details, one in ten
percent
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per cent
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of
girls
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choosed
Correct your spelling
chose
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sports in their leisure time. But, in computer games, nearly 15% of females liked to play.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the maximum proportion was obtained by
girls
Use synonyms
in music which showed 19%.
Lastly
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, a minority of
girls
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choosed
Correct your spelling
chose
show examples
shopping activities.
Submitted by karanbadwal3233 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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