The most effective way to solve the current traffic and pollution problems in cities is to encourage people to move from the suburbs or countryside into the city center. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Moving permanently towards the countryside can
be
Verb problem
have
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Correct article usage
an increasingly
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increasingly
Change the word
increasing
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impact on alleviating traffic congestion and problems related to pollution. Many people believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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living in suburbs can totally elevate
such
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problems
whereas
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, I strongly trust that it cannot be a reliable solution for
long
Correct article usage
the long
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term.
Moreover
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, reducing
population
Add an article
the population
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in cities may decrease issues raised
due to
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traffic and pollution, but relying solely on it has more disadvantages than advantages.
The first
Correct article usage
First
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and foremost,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employment opportunities are more in cities when compared to
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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. Not only professional development but
also
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lifestyle can greatly
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
show examples
during the
city
Use synonyms
stay.
For instance
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, living in the
city
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can encourage
individuals
Use synonyms
to access numerous career development programs to choose from, so that they can balance both personal and professional
life
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, the flexibility of the job, in terms of career advancement and job switching is tremendously valuable to
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
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professional growth.
Secondly
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, living in villages can be beneficial to residents,
however
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travelling to work on
daily
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a daily
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basis from
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
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to
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
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can be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
troublesome
to
Change preposition
for
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employees. Because
,
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apply
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it enormously increases commute time and leaves a shorter time for personal
life
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.
For instance
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, having
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unsatisfied personal
life
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can significantly
impacts
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impact
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person's
Correct article usage
a person's
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productivity and performance at
workplace
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the workplace
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.
Therefore
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, staying within
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
a city
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can encourage people to work more efficiently and reduce mental stress.
On the other hand
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, settling down in the countryside is definitely a healthier and
pleasant
Correct quantifier usage
more pleasant
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option to stay.
However
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,
this
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cannot be the only reason to deal with
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
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such
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as air and traffic. Implementing additional measures to alleviate pollutants should be the primary responsibility of both
individuals
Use synonyms
and the Government.
For instance
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, carpooling,
bike
Correct word choice
and bike
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sharing can be used by
individuals
Use synonyms
during peak office hours and imposing new policies on air quality checks by the officials. In conclusion, decreasing pollutants from the environment is not only
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
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of residents, but the Government should encourage
individuals
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to adopt more sustainable transportation options to travel and address
this
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issue.
However
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, residing outside cities or closer to villages can be a disadvantage for many
individuals
Use synonyms
who have to commute for long hours, which ultimately leaves a shorter time for personal
life
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leads
Wrong verb form
leading
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to stress and anxiety
along with
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performance issues at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
.
Submitted by Lakshmi on

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task achievement
Work on enhancing the clarity of ideas and argument flow in each paragraph to make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples directly related to the argument presented to give more weight to your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the logical flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction and provides a conclusion that reinforces your stance on the issue.
logical structure
Good attempt at covering different aspects of the argument, including the potential drawbacks of moving to the countryside and benefits of city living.
supported main points
Uses reasonable examples and explanations to back up the main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • centralize resources
  • traffic congestion
  • public transportation efficiency
  • walking or cycling
  • reduce pollution
  • strain infrastructure
  • overcrowding
  • green technologies
  • relocating people
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