The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and solution of this disturbing trend.

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It is evident that an increasing proportion of overweight

children

Use synonyms

in Western countries is around 20% in the

last

Linking Words

ten years. There are several reasons behind

this

Linking Words

trend,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

some solutions are proposed to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem. On the one hand, the figure

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

Use synonyms

who are overweighed has

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

increase

Replace the word

increased

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

20% in the

last

Linking Words

ten years for several reasons. One reason is that

children

Use synonyms

eat too much without control. The young are affected by attractive advertisements about foods and drinks that

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

them eat more.

Besides

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

have a habit of eating snacks

while

Linking Words

watching TV.

As a result

Linking Words

, they can eat more than

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

real

Replace the word

really

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need.

Additionally

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

gain weight because they do not take

excercise

Correct your spelling

exercise

regularly. Nowadays, there are many

sort

Change to a plural noun

sorts

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entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

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such

Linking Words

as TV and

smart phones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

which

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

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spend

much

Correct quantifier usage

a lot of

show examples

time on them.

Instead

Linking Words

of going outside for walking and running, they prefer to stay at home and enjoy programs.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some solutions are given to solve

this

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issue.

Firstly

Linking Words

, parents can provide

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy food for kids to eat.

For example

Linking Words

, parents can encourage

children

Use synonyms

to eat more vegetables

instead

Linking Words

of fast food which

contain

Correct subject-verb agreement

contains

show examples

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

calories and

Verb problem

apply

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exercise regularly.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the government can provide more information about the negative impacts

Correct your spelling

show examples

children

Use synonyms

overweigh

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

This

Linking Words

can help parents to take care of

children

Use synonyms

's health In conclusion, the figure of overweight

children

Use synonyms

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

increased

around

Change preposition

by around

show examples

20% in the

last

Linking Words

ten years in Western countries for many reasons,

however

Linking Words

, there are several solutions which are proposed to solve

this

Linking Words

problem.

nguyennguyet.vcuWed Jan 08 2025

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, make sure to address all aspects of the task more comprehensively, including causes and solutions, and how they relate specifically to the trend discussed.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by ensuring sentences and paragraphs flow smoothly with appropriate linking words, and by maintaining a consistent argument throughout.

introduction

The essay introduces the topic effectively and offers both causes and solutions, showing a good overall understanding of the task.

conclusion

The conclusion summarizes the main points, effectively providing closure to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and solution of this disturbing trend.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some employers are giving more value on hiring people with good social skills apart from good qualifications. Do yiu agree or disagree that social skills are just as crucial as good qulification for success work?

Technology has made our lives easier, especially for education. What is your opinion?Give your views with proper explaination.