IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The process diagram details the steps by which liquid chocolate is produced from cocoa beans.

#process #steps #chocolate #cocoa #beans
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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diagram
describes
Rephrase
below describes
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 the procedure of making liquid
chocolate
Use synonyms
 from cocoa
beans
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, making
chocolate
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 is an artificial linear process which consists of 10 stages.
This
Linking Words
 starts at ripe red pods and ends at
inner
Correct article usage
the inner
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 part pressed liquid
chocolate
Use synonyms
 produced. Regarding the diagram,
the first step is
Linking Words
 beginning with a cacao tree and ripe red pods are grown in South America Africa or Indonesia.
Then
Linking Words
 the white cocoa
beans
Use synonyms
 inside
is
Change the verb form
are
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 harvested and kept between leaves to wait for
fermented
Replace the word
fermentation
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.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the fermented pods
is
Change the verb form
are
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 exposed to the sun. When it
dried
Add a missing verb
is dried
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, it is packaged in big sacks
weighted
Correct your spelling
weighed
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 before being transported by either trains or lorry to a factory. In the following step, the
beans
Use synonyms
 are roasted at the highest temperature: 350 degrees. The afterwards
beans
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 undergo a crushed process to split and get rid of the outer shell.
Finally
Linking Words
,
inner
Correct article usage
the inner
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 part of
Use synonyms
beans
Correct article usage
the beans
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are transport
Change the verb form
are transported
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 to a press machine and liquid
chocolate
Use synonyms
produced
Add a missing verb
is produced
show examples
.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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introduction conclusion present
Consider adding a brief conclusion to encapsulate the entire process to enhance the overall structure.
logical structure
Use linking words like 'following this' or 'afterwards' more consistently to maintain smooth transitions between sentences and stages.
relevant specific examples
While describing the drying stage, you may want to specify how long the cocoa beans are exposed to the sun, if known, for clearer details.
logical structure
The essay follows a logical progression through the stages of chocolate production, which makes it easy to follow.
complete response
The main steps of the cocoa bean processing, such as fermentation, drying, transportation, roasting, and pressing, are clearly enumerated.
introduction conclusion present
Your description begins well with a concise overview, providing the reader with a clear understanding of the process layout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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