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Band 5.5

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA.

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA.
#information #age #income #person #population #poverty #line #three #states #usa
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The table lists age data , profit per person and
people
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 struggling financially in
Florida
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,
Utah
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 and
California
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.
Overall
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, it can be seen clearly that the highest salaries are in
California
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 ,meanwhile the lowest incomes are in
Utah
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.
Furthermore
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, the earnings in
Florida
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 are slightly fewer than in
California
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. The number of teenagers in
Utah
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 accounts for over a quarter
while
Linking Words
 the quantity of seniors does not exceed 10%.
Conversely
Linking Words
, in
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Florida
Add a comma
Florida,
show examples
 the number of minors is far smaller than in
Utah
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 but older
people
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 make up 23% compared to
Florida
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 (8%).
Then
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, children occupy 10%
while
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people
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 over 60 years old account for almost a quarter.
According to
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 the financial situation in the USA,
California
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's average income is 23,000 dollars per person , followed by 22,000 dollars of
Florida
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's revenue. The percentage of residents who live in poverty in
California
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 and
Florida
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 is 16% and 12%, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Utah
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 witnessed first-hand the lowest proportion of poor
people
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while
Linking Words
 the total income is only 17,000 dollars.
Submitted by alisastar112006 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, florida, utah, california with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disparities
  • correlate
  • socio-economic factors
  • demographic
  • economic prosperity
  • variance
  • indicators
  • social welfare programs
  • economic development
  • policy-making
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